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DD turns 6 today :D
I had a panic last week, when i found she has pubic hair. We saw her doctor and have a referral to an endocrinologist.
No confirmed precocious puberty yet, but there is a confirmation that something's definitely not right.
DD's mom contacted me to say Happy birthday to J.
I'm torn with letting her know about the issue.
Pro's
*It is an open adoption and I don't want to keep secrets
* there might be a family history that only T can share
Cons
* She had a blow up about me not telling her DD's fear of strange men (which started long before she moved in with me). She said she's entitled to know everything going on with HER daughter. There were several other red flags during th visit (her first since finalization) that suggest she hasn't accepted that DH and I are more than temporary guardians. Keeping her involved can would imply to her that she has a 'say' in treatment
* Since she is still involved with the man who molested her as a child, I know she's around at least one pedophile. Her judgement on things child sexuality related is called into judgement based on who she's trying to get J access to. the idea of her discussing J's sexuality with the sickos icks me out
* the subject of FAS (for which she's very sensitive) would inevitably come up as FAS is a known risk factor for precocious puberty
* since there is no diagnosis yet, would I be jumping the gun?
thoughts??
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I think I'd at least ask her when she started puberty and if there were any concerns. Tell her dd has a doc appt. and they start early on medical background questions. This way you get the information you need for dd for your appt. with the endo and yet don't jump the gun as you put it until you have more facts.Regardless of the OA, J's the priority so you owe her bmom nothing if she's not in a healthy place to keep J's best interests at focus. (the sharing info with a pedophile...) Just because you are in an OA, it doesn't mean every bit of info has to be shared.
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Our 6 year old is also developing VERY early. However she is the size of a 10-12 year old. I don't know if I should or shouldn't be concerned. She has underarm hair, her leg hair is thickening, she has small breasts beginning to develop, and I let her shower/dress on her own, so I don't know about pubic hairs.
I have little to no history on her birth family, which makes it hard.
I wouldn't discuss specifics with her birthmom, I would do as Crick said and just ask for some more specific medical history on BM.
Best wishes, I will be interested to see what tests etc they do?!?
if you have more than on sign of puberty, I'd definitely get checked. We only have 1 and quickly got a referral.
An endocrinologist can do blood and bone scans to determine where the child is, precocious puberty-wise. They can delay puberty with monthly shots until such a ime that the body and mind can better handle it
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wcurry66
if you have more than on sign of puberty, I'd definitely get checked. We only have 1 and quickly got a referral.
An endocrinologist can do blood and bone scans to determine where the child is, precocious puberty-wise. They can delay puberty with monthly shots until such a ime that the body and mind can better handle it
Wow, I didn't know early puberty was that common! I have a friend whose dd started showing signs at five. She sees the endochrinologist and will delay puberty until at least age 10.
No way would that be healthy for a little girl to start that early.
I wouldn't feel obligated to share that info with a birth parent. You don't need or want her opinion and it is not a serious medical condition (life threatening or whatever).
I have purposely not told my kids bfamily about them taking ADHD meds because it would be harmful to our relationship. They would not agree with the decision and would be sure to voice their opinions in front of the kids. We don't need the friction. It's our decision to make as their parents and none of anyone else's buisness.
Wow... I'm a nurse (granted a surgical nurse) and you all taught me something new! We have a 5 almost 6 year old girl. Now you have given me something new to worry about:)
I don't think the BM has a right to the medical information. I would get her diagnosed and treated and only ask her medical information if the MD said it's needed to treat her or help with her medical care. Giving too much information the the BM would imply that she has rights that she quite simply doesn't have.
I was a BM at 16 and gave up my child when he was born. I wasn't happy with the decision I made but ultimately I respected the boundries and appreciated the the adoptive parents for who they were...his parents!
Precocious puberty is especially a problem because puberty is when growth plates start fusing together. When the puberty process is complete, the person's growth is complete. Girls in puberty typically have this fusing occur earlier than boys in puberty, making it even more critical to get this process stalled and/or to hurry up the growth in girls showing signs of it.
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