Advice needed please

I am 46, my wife is 45. We started having children as teenagers - our oldest is 27. Several years ago we got into foster care and three babies came in quick succession. We ended up adopting them all. We could take more, in fact I'm very open to it, but we've made the conscious decision to hold a "spot" for a sibling of one of our girls. One set of birth parents has 5 children between them and they are not yet 25. Another just had a baby and is currently keeping it. The other birth mom is pregnant. Even though the state terminated the rights of all these women, we have a good relationship with the birth moms and they have said if they ever had another child taken, they'd love for us to have her (that's just a weird conversation, let me tell you.) So, we're not much younger than you and have a lot of kids (mostly grown), but if circumstances called, we'd take another in a second. Realistically, we have another 25 or so years of being able to parent a child under 18 (not that I'm saying we'd take a baby at 65, but having a teenager then would be no problem). Remember, anyone can die at any time - age is only one factor. No child is ever guaranteed two parents for life. You have skills, experience and wisdom that you would not have had 30 years ago. Don't let age scare you, just ask yourself if you're willing to be the mom and dad. Answer honestly and trust yourself.

Mom-mimi, I agree with the op. I am 46, hubby 44. We have adopted through the foster care system since 2001 and would do it again in a heartbeat. Our 16 year old has a sister in another adoptive home. We adopted him at the age of seven. Even after all these years and having adopted siblings, he misses her and can't understand why she wasn't adopted with him. We now adopt sibling groups with the passion to keep them together. So, obviously, my vote would be to do it! My husband {an experienced truck driver} was in a major pile up several months ago. It really changed his view a lot. Prior to that, he, too, worried about our ages and adopting again. It made him realize that age has nothing to do with it and one needs to live their lives doing what they love instead of worrying about what *might* happen.

Hello..... Just a little about us.....we are new to posting here on the forum. JUST found this 40 something categories. We are in Dallas, Tx :clap: Our homestudy was just approved. We are working on adopting from the foster care system, via a private agency. We are ages 50 & 51. We are open to children from birth to 10 and a sibling group. We are also open to an open adoption, having birth parents apart of the children's life. Although we SO want to adopt an infant, we have been told only ages 5 and up are generally available with foster care adoptions. Not sure how true that is. If any of you have insight on this, PLEASE let us know. After reading your situation, I thought about what we would do if we were in your shoes based upon our passions. Hubby and I talked about it. We too would not want the sibling group not to be able to know their siblings and grow up together. IF, we could not adopt the baby, (for whatever reason) we concluded our first step would be to work with the BM and try to help her find an "identified adoption" with us. We would help the BM by looking for a family that would would be interested in developing an open adoption relationship, not only with the BM, but our family as well so the children would grow up knowing each other and being apart of each others lives. We have very strong feelings about sibling groups. I know we will do everything we can to help any child we adopt, to continue any relationship with a sibling and with the BM if possible. Why ? Because, this is not about us........this is about those precious souls who need us. I believe that apart from the parents, a sibling is the most important relationship a child will have in life. And in most situations, it will be the longest and strongest relationship that child ever has. Together is better....your home or in the home of a family who understand the importance of that relationship and would do anything to help develop the all so important relationship.......a sibling relationship! :flower:

My DH is 50 and I am 52, we have 6 grown children and have adopted 4 children from foster care, we are on our way to adopting our 5th, she is a very medically challenged infant. We love our life, we have told DSHS that we want to be notified if any of our children have siblings that come in to the system, so there is a chance we would adopt another infant. I think it is wonderful when siblings can stay together, in my opinion you should take the baby if it comes into care. Good luck.

I'm sorry I haven't been back to read these responses! I didn't think anyone had responded - Thank you ALL for your words and for confirming for me that we are NOT the only age-challenged parents of young kids!! :clap: Since I posted that original message, we've decided to go ahead and start the adoption process. I have the paperwork on my desk right not - just working on pulling the $ together - haha Will keep you posted on how things go - I am excited. Thanks for sharing your stories with me - Txmama, I don't think infants would not be placed with you because of your age...? Went we went through foster parenting training that was never mentioned. :loveyou:

MoM-MiMi ....I do not believe it is base on our age either. It is the program we are in with the private agency. We were told that "often" the children in CPS care need "experienced" parents. I :love: that term ! It sort of like my hair dresser who calls my gray hair, unpigmented hair! haha But all fun aside, we are experienced parents. We have raised our 5 children all to become very successful adults! When I look at the situation of siblings, I think back to when I was in my 20's. There is no way I would have been a good match for 3 or 4 older children. I just did not know back then what I know now. They have a number of different programs. I do know in the last 6 months, the CPS here in Texas (and from what I understand, its nationwide), has reunification as a priority, more so than before. BUT, they have also placed a shorter time frame to terminate parental rights. One year.....the BP's no longer have years to pull their life together and reunify with their children. It is in the best interest of the children to move them from foster care to permenecy as quickly as possible. It also puts pressure on the system/CPS to find families. So, I am very glad we have a 3rd party to look out for our best interest as well as the best interest of the child or siblings that may be placed with us. The 3rd party also negotiates all subsidies for us and provides us with life time post adoption assistance. So there are some pro's and con's...... We will see what the Lord has in store for us! You know how He is. If we are headed down the wrong path He will redirect our feet ........:wings: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

ah=ha got it Txmama! keep us posted on how things go - like my dh says, it's all good.....if we are blessed to parent another child, it's just more love in the house. And yes, just walk in faith knowing that the Lord always has the best plan!!