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My daughter is 7, and was adopted at age 2 from Russia. She is a good child, but has an iron will that causes her to exhibit behaviors that are less than desirable. Always pushing the envelope, testing boundaries (which have been clearly & repeatedly defined), even resorting to lying to direct questioning if it might impede her agenda. I am not sure I am doing everything right here...how many times can you yell and repeat the same thing? That doesn't work.
I moved her to a private, small class school so that she is more closely guided and not able to get away with things she could in public school. She isn't destructive, she is sneaky.
Any insight would be appreciated.
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if it helps, lying at age 7 is extremely normal.
also at that age, asking why doesn't help - they often don't know why
a couple things to try - rather than giving an order, give a choice. instead of "put on your shoes", its "would you rather put on your sneakers or your boots?"
as for lies, assume everything is a lie. then you can either ignore.. or run with the fantasy/make a joke of it, make it clear you know they are lying.. which ever works for you
you already have taken the first step - realizing what you are doing is not working. thats half the battle
You have rather difficult relationships with your daughter though everything can be fixed. Maybe you spend not much time with your child? Your daughter may feel lonely... she needs attention and that's why she behaves in such a way. Why not try these out somewhere in the park or forest with your kid