how to explain attachment disorder to unbelieving family??

You could maybe try getting a copy of the book, "Don't Touch My Heart". It's pretty short, tells the story of a little boy adopted by the usual well-meaning (read, clueless) nice parents with 2 bio-kids. Tells of his life at his mom's home =:-o Tells of his life after he joins the family, including him attacking mom, the dog, getting the other kids in trouble, then, Ta Da, setting the barn on fire. At which point they decide to do attachment therapy for him. (yathink?) It's about 100 pages, so not too long, and does a fantastic job of details in an abusive home, and his view of the world from the inside out, and the wreckage he doles out on every level in adoptive home. Would probably draw them in, as it's a story.