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I'm looking for input on how to provide support for a friend through a trying situation. I spent some time with a friend's little boys and after observing obvious neglect & possible abuse by their biological father ended up harassiing DCFS until they finally opened a case. Eventually my friend ended up givin DCFS information on prior abuse & indicated she had intentionally showed me what was going on so I would call DCFS since she knew I would do it (some friend huh?). She admitted she was not stable enough to parent (mental health & addiction issues) and voluntarily relinquished on the terms that she would have ongoing contact with the boys, including a visit at Christmas. On Thanksgiving she sent an email to the family & they responded indicating they did not intend to follow up with visits since they don't feel it's in the best interes of the boys. They are still going to allow her to talk with the boys adoptive mother & receive photos and pictures. My friend is taking this extremely hard, especially since they did not do a "goodbye visit" since the presumption was she would be seeing them again soon. She is attempting, as best as she can, to understand the situation from the adoptive mothers situation. How can I help her work through this? Would it be appropriate to ask the parents for one visit to say goodbye? Also, any books relating specifically to open adoptions?
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Did you get an open adoption agreement signed as part of her reliquishment? In my state, it is a legally binding document, so the adoptive parents can't just change their minds.If her rights are not yet terminated, then she can still see her kids... she has the right to in almost every circumstance.If her rights are already terminated and she had no written legal agreement to visits I think she is out of luck. If mom has addiction issues, amom my have concerns about allowing ongoing contact.
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