non-CC or mixed couples adopted/ing from Poland?

I do know of an African American couple who adopted from Russia. But I was not able to keep in touch with them. I will say that during my six weeks in Poland I did not see any minority people apart from my son who is Roma. I live in Texas and we have a large hispanic population and most people think that my son is hispanic because of his coloring. I do know that one woman who was trying to stop us from adopting attempted to frighten my son by telling him we were AA. (we are not) and that when he first came he was afraid of AA people and had not seen them except on TV. He was completely unaware of his own ethnicity and we were told to pretend we did not notice and not to mention it to anyone in Poland.

momraine - you were advised not to talk about your son's being Roma in Poland? Oye! And this woman who was trying to stop you from adopting, was she in Poland? (I'm not sure how else she could've been trying to stop the adoption and have contact with your son.) Did you go through any transracial adoption education when adopting your son? It sounds like the powers that be didn't acknowledge his heritage and wanted to ignore it, thus probably no education..?

Hi. My husband and I just recently brought our daughter home from Poland. We are a mixed race couple. My husband is Asian-American. We weren't given any transracial adoption info, but my husband was adopted by a Caucasian couple. I don't know if this answers your question or not.

I wonder if the idea behind the transracial adoption education is not based on what the parents' and children's race is, but what the majority's race is in the country where they will live, and that being assumed to be Caucasian. I've noticed between my husband and me, us being from different countries/cultures, there are things we each assume based on our own background that aren't true for the other. For example, in dh's culture, children are often passed around and carried by lots of various people at a party, and it is considered polite to offer to hold someone's child. However, this is not the case for my culture. You do not touch other people's children without being invited to help. Also, dancing is part and parcel of the culture, so children are encouraged to dance early on, and adults dance with the kids. This isn't a problem in my culture, but it's not the norm. Instead, we focus more on singing with kids. In my culture, children are children, but in dh's culture, kids are often treated like little adults - in terms of how they're dressed, how adults talk to them, etc. For example, we would NEVER speak of elementary-school-aged kids as having "boyfriends" or "girlfriends". It would not be considered cute, but rather inappropriate. But I guess these sorts of things wouldn't get in the way for a child who has yet to learn their culture. Hmm. It seems that the purpose of transracial adoption education is to make parents aware of the racism their children may face and how to prepare them for it. This may seem obvious, but I haven't ever heard it stated this way. Cultural appreciation is a separate issue that applies to all internationally adopted kids and some domestically adopted kids. Looks like I've got my answer :)

We were told to pretend we did not notice that my son was Roma and he had not been told. (he was six) The woman who was trying to stop the adoption was a nun who kind of considered him her unofficial son. Her boss also a nun also had issues with us because we were not Catholic, but a phone call from a bishop who chastised her got her in line, the other nun was sent away until the adoption was complete. We did not have any training required by the agency, but I have read a ton of books on adoption and as a moderator I read every board on here, including the transracial ones. The racial stuff has not been an issue. RAD has been an issue we have had to deal with though.

momraine, so sad. Makes me think of the conversation I had with my grandmother when explaining to her that yes, we would adopt a Roma child if that's the child who was referred to us. I had to explain that the "reasons" she was giving for not doing so were all stereotypes, and that if we raised the child, the child would have our values. Interestingly, she told me that she guessed I was right and that I had clearly been "educated" on the subject! lol