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Hi everyone,
I placed my firstborn for adoption when I was 17. It's an open adoption, though her mom and have always been more open than I have been and have wanted more contact, visits, etc than I was willing to give (bless them for being so loving toward me). Anyway, she will be turning 16 this February and as it's such a special birthday, I would like to get her something befitting such a special day. I don't really know her that well, as I haven't seen her in person since she was 2 (again, my fault).
As adoptive parents, I would LOVE and so appreciate your input and opinions as to what you think would be a special gift a birth mother can give for a birthday gift. I don't want to overstep my boundaries or upset anyone. I see gorgeous necklaces, bracelets, and so on for "daughter" but I personally feel that it would be going too far since she's not technically my daughter. I want something special, but nothing that will cause her parents to be put out with me.
Help?!
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Have you thought about maybe a necklace, bracelet,or some piece of jewelry that has a heart on it or some other charm that is meaningful? You mentioned jewelry, and it really is a very special gift. And a heart or other charm can have your own special meaning. I have a ring my parents gave me for my sixteenth birthday that is still very special to me over 20 years later. . .
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I gave my son a really, really nice wristwatch for his 16th birthday. It was his first grown-up, expensive watch, and he still has it 22 years later.
You're lucky in a way---girls are much easier to buy gifts for than boys! :p
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I like the idea of jewelry, but I agree that it should be something other than "daughter" jewelry. I would go with a heart pendant, or what about something with her birthstone in it? A necklace is nice. She can wear it close to her heart and it will be something she can treasure.
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Thank you so much everyone :) I am going to take your advice and do something with jewelry. I found a few cute pieces with hearts and birthstones that I think she'd really like. Thanks again!!
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I know this thread is older but I would love to have our first mom (assuming she is still in contact) give our daughter not only a gift but a letter. I would love for our dd to have a letter from her 1st mom saying how proud she is of the woman she has turned out to be and pretty much anything positive first mom wanted to tell our dd. :)
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bjc76
Hi everyone,
I placed my firstborn for adoption when I was 17. It's an open adoption, though her mom and have always been more open than I have been and have wanted more contact, visits, etc than I was willing to give (bless them for being so loving toward me). Anyway, she will be turning 16 this February and as it's such a special birthday, I would like to get her something befitting such a special day. I don't really know her that well, as I haven't seen her in person since she was 2 (again, my fault).
As adoptive parents, I would LOVE and so appreciate your input and opinions as to what you think would be a special gift a birth mother can give for a birthday gift. I don't want to overstep my boundaries or upset anyone. I see gorgeous necklaces, bracelets, and so on for "daughter" but I personally feel that it would be going too far since she's not technically my daughter. I want something special, but nothing that will cause her parents to be put out with me.
Help?!
I think the idea of jewelry of some sort, maybe a birthstone bracelet or something like that, would be pretty special. DD is only 7 so it is hard to imagine what she would like at 16 in this situation, but it might also be a really neat gift to give her a scrap book of pictures from your childhood and life. That may be too painful to do, but I know the bond my DD feels with her other mom and other members of her first family comes alot through pictures exchanged even between visits.
And FWIW, IMO you ARE technically her mother. More than "technically" her mother actually. Just because you aren't parenting her daily, or even if you felt it wasn't possible to see her this whole time, you can embrace that you were her mom once, and that you still are her mom, alongside the mom who parents her daily. She exists because you brought her in the world. She wouldn't be who she is without you. That does not diminish the place at all of her adoptive mom in her life. My DD tells people she has two moms. She is matter of fact about it because both of us ~ me and her other mom ~ are a part of who she is.
Blessings to you! I hope you have a wonderful time celebrating your daughter's birthday!
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