Grandparents with Temp Custody Question

I am so sorry. The only advise I can give you is to contact your grandchildrens attorney or CASA or GAL. They are supposed to be representing the best interest of the children. If they are not willing to do anything you can always hire a private attorney to represent your grandchildren.

What state are you in? In some states you can be granted intervenor or defacto parent status after a period of time. This allows you to have a voice in the courtroom. You would be allowed to stand before the judge and voice your concerns (I think, I have not done this, so I can't say for sure). I can say that without this status you have no voice before the judge, he doesn't have to listen to you. You need to decide if you want to hire a lawyer or not and fight to keep these kids away from their parents (or SIL if you could convince your daughter she's better off without the abuser in her life). Only you can know if that is the right thing to do. I know it's tough when you're dealing with family.I will pray for your family. I'm sorry this is happening.ETA: You must petition the court either through a lawyer or by filing pro-se to get intervenor status or defacto parenting status. It's not something you're just given.

We are in Fla, everytime we have gone before the judge, she has asked our CONCERNS- I have a call into the childrens GAL Rep, my DD will not comitt to LEAVING HIM for good, she has left and come back several times, once right after the children were removed, she even filed an injunction and went back after only 2 days, she believes he has changed after 10 anger classes and 10 parenting classes, and of coarse THEY WILL NEVER DO DRUGS AGAIN. Funny thing is I am not worried about the drugs - right away anyways, it's the STRESS level that will bring SIL to boiling point, they have just started drug court which requires both of them to attend 2 hour classes 4 days a week, she from 10AM-12PM, him from 6-8PM, + they still have 8 weeks of couples counseling to complete + must attend 12 NA meetings each. All this while the children are returned possibly on 1/4/11, they have 1 vehicle, my DD has no license because of tickets in NY, she works over nights, they of coarse must maintain their jobs, apartment and keep the kids in daycare, while they have not had the children at home for 6/mo and have paid no formal support, they have purchased some diapers and snack food perhaps a grand total of $100 spent in 6/MO and continue to talk about how broke they are, how will they survive when the children are returned home, before all these we were LENDING - monet left and right, that can not continue, but it is hard to think of these babies going without. They both have new cell phones, cloths, nails done, etc, etc, but are broke. ALWAYS when it comes to the important stuff, still adictive behavior in my eyes. The CW visits on Thursday, I will once again express my concerns to her, tonight is a perfect example of lack of comittment, no calls all day NO visit (as there should be from mom), yet they have an over night this Saturday. I WORRY SO

I visited this site 2yrs ago after receiving custody of 2 grandchildren, then 2yrs and 6/mo we had both children for app 11/mo and they were reunified, against our better judgement, but we hadn't a leg to stand on, parents completed their case plan, over the past yr, DV and drug/alcohol abuse has continued in the home, with us making several reports to DCF, parents/children continued to be supervised by DCF. On 5/28, my DD's husband after drinking all day, began to hit, kick, punch etc her , all in front of the children, it let to an outside altercation where he was strangling her against a tele pole, thank goodness for a neighbor home who called PD, SIL barracked himself inside home when he realized PD was there, being forcefully removed after sometime, he has been in jail since 5/28, bond on several of the charges he received that day was set , however he has a NO BOND as he was also charged with VOP, and in Fla is now classified as a VIOLENT FELON OF SPECIAL CONCERN. Our DD did not loose custody that day, DCF insisted she file aan injunction, no contact etc etc, she did get the temp order the next day, but within less than a wk of his arrest she was back to defending his behavior, and refusing to follow through on the injunction, DCF said FAILURE TO PROTECT, we have had the children since 6/6. Case plan has been made, this time how ever along with REUNIFICATION it also has a CONCURRENT plan that says ADOPTION- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN TO US??? We have a fresh out of school, first case.trainee case manager, VERY FRUSTRATING, with this being the 2nd go around for us we kinda know some of what needs to be taken care of, she so far has NO CLUE. My DD told the CPI who took the children that she was standing by her husband if it even meant choosing him over the children, and she clearly has, . So I think we are facing a completely different set of rules/guidelines from DCF now, any ideas, suggestions on what we should be doing . asking. Any advise SO APPRECIATED. thank you

Make sure your cross post in the relative care section. Many of us hang out here: [url]http://forums.adoption.com/relative-adoption-support/[/url] I know of at last one relative with custody in Florida (I'll ping her on FB and tell her to check this thread out). Concurrent planning is a positive sign. They need to cite reunification until the termination of parental rights. Concurrent means they can't wait along for the process and have earmarked you as the forever family Its really hard, IMO for an addict to regain custody. They need to get and stay clean, show they can provide for their family, and not be surrounded by other addicts. hang in there! And welcome to the world of relative care.

Just wanted to say GOOD LUCK. Its so obvious that your home should be their forever home and mom made that clear. Keep us updated!

Sorry, forgot to add most recent update post I visited this site 2yrs ago after receiving custody of 2 grandchildren, then 2yrs and 6/mo we had both children for app 11/mo and they were reunified, against our better judgement, but we hadn't a leg to stand on, parents completed their case plan, over the past yr, DV and drug/alcohol abuse has continued in the home, with us making several reports to DCF, parents/children continued to be supervised by DCF. On 5/28, my DD's husband after drinking all day, began to hit, kick, punch etc her , all in front of the children, it let to an outside altercation where he was strangling her against a tele pole, thank goodness for a neighbor home who called PD, SIL barracked himself inside home when he realized PD was there, being forcefully removed after sometime, he has been in jail since 5/28, bond on several of the charges he received that day was set , however he has a NO BOND as he was also charged with VOP, and in Fla is now classified as a VIOLENT FELON OF SPECIAL CONCERN. Our DD did not loose custody that day, DCF insisted she file aan injunction, no contact etc etc, she did get the temp order the next day, but within less than a wk of his arrest she was back to defending his behavior, and refusing to follow through on the injunction, DCF said FAILURE TO PROTECT, we have had the children since 6/6. Case plan has been made, this time how ever along with REUNIFICATION it also has a CONCURRENT plan that says ADOPTION- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN TO US??? We have a fresh out of school, first case.trainee case manager, VERY FRUSTRATING, with this being the 2nd go around for us we kinda know some of what needs to be taken care of, she so far has NO CLUE. My DD told the CPI who took the children that she was standing by her husband if it even meant choosing him over the children, and she clearly has, . So I think we are facing a completely different set of rules/guidelines from DCF now, any ideas, suggestions on what we should be doing . asking. Any advise SO APPRECIATED. thank you

it went through... a couple msgs above. :)

I'm pretty sure that concurrent planning for adoption means DCF doesn't expect the kids to be reunified, (but they have to keep the plan in place just in case things change because the rights are still not terminated yet) and I can see why with a violent felon for a father and a mom who cares more about him than the safety of her children or even her own safety. And of course the drugs are a problem too. So, basically, what this means for you is that you have to think about whether or not you're prepared to adopt your grandchildren as your own children. If the kids are with you, I'd assume you've already agreed to that. Until adoption is finalized, your grandchildren are still wards of the state and the rules are probably still the same basically. But after your daughter and SIL's rights are terminated and your adoption is finalized, you become the parent and have all the parental rights and you may still be able to get some help in their care from DCF if that's done in your state and worked out in your contract and the adoption should be free or mostly free because they're wards of the state. It will probably take a while though because rights can be hard to terminate. This situation is awful, but I'm glad the kids have someone on their side like you. Good luck. :)

Thank you, I wish I had faith/belief in the system for these children, as it was proven last time no-one listended to us, yes DD & SIL completed their case plan, but SO WHAT, we provided proof of their continued drinking as they did not hesitate to post it on Facebook, even had police reports of local office being called to their apartment before the kids even went back home, but because no reports/arrests filed, all we kept hearing were NO IMMINENT DANGER to the children, after RU, they were evicted twice for non payment of rent and still at this time being monitered by DCF, we and others had made calls to the abuse hotline, DD & SIL were put into more PROGRAMS/CLASSES to no avail of coarse etc, etc etc. I was re reading the many e-mails I have saved over the coarse of the past 2 years with DCF and our concerns and their out an out refusal to believ anything was wrong or the children were in harms way - MAKES ME SO ANGRY. And now these children struggle to re adjust , GS has been DX with PTSD and has developed a eye tick, has started trauma counseling weekly, GD has nightmares at least 1-2 times weekly, BUT WE HAD NO CLUE WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT. These case plans are ONE SIZE FITS ALL, I believe, they used to brag about going to this or that meeting signing in and being allowed to leave or just leave on their own, but no one believe that either - we were looked at like fools

That is truly a heartbreaking story. I know it seems like DCF just doesn't care about the kids, but their hands are tied behind their backs most times by the need for proof by the courts and the lack of proper staffing and funding. Those poor kids were definitely done a disservice by DCF not listening to you though and I really hope that they learn from their mistake and try harder. I'm so glad they're now concurrent planning and hopefully that means no more of this trauma for these kids.

we heard Wednesday that SIL will take a plea on the VOP in court on 7/27 of 24-36/mo, he still has 4 other charges we are not sure of the outcome on yet, that next hearing is set on 8/20, the CW called Wednesday and said my DD had asked her if we would bring the children to the jail to see dad before he was sent to what ever prison he will go to, we out and out refused to do that, CW said she would have to check with her supervisor before she could get back to us we contacted states att, who found that the judge had already stated that the children seeing dad incarcerated would be detrimental to their well being, very upsetting that my DD would even make such a request, as she has not even made an attempt to see them now in almost 2/mo. Our GS has been DX with PTSD and is receiving weekly counsel for that, he had a major eye tick, and that is showing much improvement, but his anger and out bursts and his attempts at HURTING his sister are still of great concern.

Good job advocating for the kiddos :grouphug: