Asperger - any experiences?

My oldest bio has Aspergers. Like many things it's a spectrum. He had a lot of trouble when he was younger, but we did still travel. We just learned to warn him about things ahead of time. Sometimes a written schedule helped a lot. He did fine on flying, he did have trouble at football games when he was younger because of the noise. However, we worked with him starting very young to deal with things. At 17 he is not pretty much normal. People who don't know would never guess at his diagnosis. He has already been accepted to college in the fall and is looking forward to dorm life.

Momraine meant to say at 17 he IS pretty much normal...My son is four. He has two dx. TBI and classic autism. Though classic autism is more severe than aspergers, they are quite similar in many ways, imo. We do a lot of traveling and we don't stick to a rigid routine, even when at home. He gets a little quirky when its loud or crowded.... sometimes he is VERY difficult to handle in these situations... but frequently he is just fine. We use stories to prepare him for uncertain things or new things (we read story after story about what the airplane would be like). Some kids with ASD have RIGID routines... others just need warning but are more adaptable than you'd expect. I would ask your worker specific questions regarding your concerns.Does he have a rigid daily routine (all kids like routines, obviously, but if he deviates, what is his response)? How does he deal with loud noise?How does he deal with change of environment (they should know this if he is a foster kid)?Just think of whatever specific questions you might ask that you are concerned about.With my son, he gets better all the time and calmer all the time. Though he does have the occasional big set back, he seems to always get back to where he was and keep gaining coping skills. He is still very hard to handle when he's sick or in certain social situations. But as a parent you learn to deal with it and learn what their triggers are.We are about to leave on a month long trip... every single day kiddo will have to deal with a new place and a new schedule. It should be interesting :)

OOPs, sorry all the kids home because of ice making me crazy. Yes, the boy is as normal as any 17 year old boy, LOL. You will have to ask lots of questions, cause each kid is different. My son has always been in regular classes, some Aspie kids are not. Mine has above average intelligence, which is common, but not across the board. He has done best with changes when warned, even if it's just a few minutes before. He has always loved to have a written schedule, well since he could read, which was pretty early. This year was the first year he did not request one on Christmas eve. The excitement of that day was too much for him, so I would type out a general schedule that was more an order of things. I didn't put times, just the things that would happen in the right order and he would carry it around. If something changed I would type out a new one and trade him and he would be good. For some reason the ones typed on the computer and printed were better than hand written.

I have Aspergers. Nowadays you could not tell, even if you knew me really well for several years you wouldn't guess. You might notice I flap my hands wring them etc, but most people don't see that and think autismI used to find noises and crowds really hard. I'd shut down and try to block everything out, not listen to anyone, just retreat into my head and stay there. Or i'd run for it as far away as pissible. Even if that meant running into a busy road. Warnings in advance didn't help that much because once I was surrounded by a noisy crowd, that was itI would get stressed by delays, the level of stress depended on the noise and other sensory things around. Now I don't but what used to help was something I could lose myself in - always a book. I have a vivid imagination, and if i read I shut off the world around me, which prevented any melt downs or running away

Thanks for your input. Basically I'm getting that it can vary widely depending on the individual. I've started a notebook, and every time a question pops into my head, I write it down. Before I see the worker again, I'll organize it, and rewrite them in a way that will make better sense, rather than being so random. I see her again in a couple of weeks, and I may e-mail her some of the questions before then.

LG is diagnosed autism...and he LOVES to travel. If we don't "go" enough for him, he'll bring us the car keys. He also loves rock concerts, street festivals and being with the people.

My bio son is dx PDD. He is a fairly typical teenage boy. He is just now realizing some of his social "quirks" are not age appropriate and feels "stupid" after the fact. This is the second year that we are having issues with education at school. He is currently mainstreamed. He is having a really hard time understanding the teachers. He also has Auditory Processing Disorder which really impacts learning and how he is taught. He struggles greatly with organization skills so bigger projects like book reports are really difficult. He HATES loud noise. He managed to sit through band for 2 yr and finally dropped it. He can participate in choir though. He sometimes will focus on something (usually video games or computer) to the point that a discussion about anything else is mute. He doesn't realize that others are not interested in his favorite topic or when someone looses interest. He has very few friends. He doesn't remember things like teachers names, his phone number or even his address.A few fun things about him...He is such a nice child. Never would hurt anyone. Is respectful and genuinely sweet. He speaks his mind (though doesn't have a filter :) ) He helps out all the time! He loves babies. He is a reader and has a huge imagination. He is wonderfully talented at his video games. He still hugs us. He knows a little bit about everything. Even though he would choose to be in front of a TV he enjoys camping, traveling and can't wait to live in Mexico (he went there when he was 7) It is a spectrum thing so ask questions. He is a blessing and a super fun kid. Sometimes the hardest part about him is trying to keep him from getting depressed because of his differences (which he is starting to notice) They aren't huge differences but big enough that other children can poke fun and he doesn't handle it well. We have actually thought about adopting another child with similiar "quirks" around his age because we find him such a pleasure. Good luck!

LG knows he is different, too. He is non verbal so he can't express, but when people stare at him or make comments about his flapping or squeeking, he withdraws and becomes anxious.

Thanks for your input everyone. I have decided not to proceed with the child my worker proposed. I felt that as a single, first time mother it would be more than I could handle. The more I thought about it, his age was more of a factor for me than the aspergers. He was older than the range I had defined, and I really want my first child to be younger (preferably 10 or under). After all my research, I have decided that I will consider a child with aspergers if it's on the more mild end of the spectrum.

I think it's vital for us to say no to children we don't feel will fit. This is forever. We're adopting to help a child thrive, to succeed in life. Yes, we may sacrifice an unbelievable amount at first to get a child to settle in, to heal, but ultimately, there has to be a fit. I wanted to say also that I have a friend with an Aspie pre-teen, and you literally want to strangle this child about every 90 seconds when around him socially. He is like fingernails on glass, over and over, day after day. His mirror neurons simply do not work, he can't understand the emotional tone around him at all. It's amazing how draining that is. Perhaps she should have gotten him more help, I don't know. I do better with him one on one... but that is still a challenge. All that to say, I think we need a chance to meet children and still back out, if we are sure we don't resonate with this child/children. That's happened to me.