Anybody there? (I didn't know where to put this)

If there is, thats great. I know people are pretty busy nowadays, and not everyone has time for some internet time. Well, I guess now I should introduce myself. My name is Brittany, and I just turned 20. For the past two years, IҒve been a stay-at-home mommy to my lovely daughter, Melody. I still live with my mother; I hate that fact, but I know I am not financially ready to be out on my own just yet. I obviously need to get a job, and I know that, but I am horribly shy. The thought of talking to someone new causes me to start panicking. Its a pretty huge deal for me to even be talking to people online. Since IҒm here, I obviously have something to do with adoption. I am a birthmother. About five months ago, I gave my newborn son up for adoption. And that fact completely sucks. I talked to three couples, total. The one I really liked, my family didn't. They picked a couple for me, and told me to go for it. The only problem was the couple they picked wanted a Closed adoption, and I didn't. My mom & grandparents told me I'd "hurt less with a closed adoption." I begged to differ. After listening to their nagging for what seemed like an eternity, I agreed to pick their couple. I told the a-parents on I think a Tuesday, and by Friday I had receieved a "Statement to Confer Standing" from them. (Basically, legally agreeing to the adoption) This couple practically promised me the sun & the moon, and anything in between with the adoption. The A-mom was present during the entire 13hrs of labor and 30min of pushing before 8lb 7oz Austin James was born. As soon as her husband showed up, he kept asking me "So, are they sending you home tomorrow or what?" For the next 48hrs, he proceeded to ask me when I was going home everytime they came to see me. I left the hospital before my 48hrs were up, and to my & my mom's shock, A-dad followed us home, demanding that I sign the papers right then and there (I could only do so with a hospital representative, whom was in her Bible Study when all this was taking place) The next day, I went back to the hospital to sign over my rights. It was hard to stay focused when the a-dad was practically breathing down my neck, daring me to hesitate the slightest bit. When that was done, I was allowed to say good-bye to my son. The a-parents were told I'd get a few minutes, but I was with him for over an hour (which they weren't happy about) About a week later, I got their Petition for Adoption, and found out they'd changed his name to Tyler Lee. I know some parents pick a name, then realize it doesn't fit and change it, but according to my aunt (who is a-mom's bestie) his name was meant to be Tyler the whole time. She doesn't even know why they changed it. A week after that, I got a 6minute phone call from the a-mom and 2 new pictures of my son. And... that was the last I've heard. A-parents haven't even been on Facebook. I tried to call their attorney to find out if anything new has developed, and he pretty much gets his panties in a wad and says "I'll send you the paperwork if anything changes!!!!!" (And that was 3 months ago) I've heard it can take up to 6months to complete a homestudy, and that's what I'm waiting on. It's just the waiting part right now that sucks. I mean... it gets better after the first year, right? (Sorry so choppy... I'm kinda in a bit of a rush)