In need of guidance....(long)

Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions. Yes, I would appreciate it if you would PM me the name of your agency. Thank you again

Welcome to the forums! We did domestic adoption. We started paperwork in July 2009, and had our Home Study completed by November 2009. We went into our agencies pool on December 15th 2009, and were home with our 17 day old DD on February 26, 2010. Now. Our time-line is not typical. Our agency was very clear it would be a one to three year wait. We are that couple that skews the wait time. :) I researched agencies like crazy. It was during that time I found these forums, and had a good list of questions compiled to weed out the shady agencies. It also helped that before we started the adoption process, we were able to go to a free seminar by a local lawyer on adoption. He laid the basic four adoption choices out on the table for us: Domestic (agency), domestic (private), International, and Foster-to-Adopt. The crazy amount of $$$ International wanted kept us from going that route. Plus, the wait times are just ridiculous! DH was uncomfortable with having a legal risk placement from foster care, and neither one of us was thrilled with the prospect of "selling' ourselves, so we went with an agency. I LOVE our agency, and cannot say enough good things about them. :) Our state does not allow expenses to be paid, and I was completely against it anyway. I really thought that the agency was/is ethically sound, and they were always very professional with us, and never tried to tell us what we needed to do or be. When we decided that we could adopt transracially, they made sure we knew what we were getting into. Our quick placement time has never been addressed by the agency. But we think it's because we were so open to race; drug exposure; HIV (can be reversed in infants); Hepatitis A, B, C; mental illness in the parents. We were contacted the first week in February about a baby-born situation, CC baby boy, exposed in utero to drugs. We decided to have our profile shown, but his mom chose someone else. The same day we found out we were not chosen for him, we found out about DD. She too was already born. She's 1/2 AA/Moroccan and 1/2 CC & Hispanic. She tested positive at birth for several drugs. She was detoxed, which took about two weeks. Mom signed TPR on the fourth day. Dad was torn. Complicated situation, and we respected his rights. He ended up signing TPR papers the day before she was released from the hospital (to us). In our state, revocation is 30 days. First couple days were scary, but by the second week we were both so tired, the last two weeks were a breeze. :arrow: We were able to finalize the adoption in October 2010. Any decent agency will follow through on the legal paperwork, so the threat of someone coming and taking your child is very, very minimal. More urban legend these days than anything. :) Cam was just over 5lbs at birth. Was in the 5th percentile for height, weight, head size when we took custody of her. We got her involved in our county's Early Intervention, which sent an Occupational Therapist to our home twice a month. At 9 or 10 months the OT thought she was actually ahead in most areas, so no more OT. Now, at 12.5 months, she is in the 75th percentile for height and head circumference, 50th for weight (first mom and dad are tall!) and is a walking babbling little package of perfection. :love: If you want to ask anything more specific of me, just PM me!

JC.. Thank you for your response. Could you please PM me your agency and the state you live in. Thank you!

Hi there, We adopted through Heart and Soul adoptions and matched within 1 month. Bmom had our baby 2 months later and we are in an open adoption and love it. Hilary

It's Hollywood. As long as the birth parents' rights are properly and legally terminated, they can't "come back" for the child. Most of this depends on how fast you can do the paperwork. Ours took 5 months this time (2010) and 4 months the first time (2005). No one can tell you that. Being matched depends on a number of variables: Are you open to either gender? Are you open to any race? Are you open to special needs? How many babies does your agency place in a year? What is your adoption budget? The first time, we actually matched with our son's birthmother the day before our final home study visit. Technically, we hadn't been "waiting" at all. We had signed with the facilitator in May, started our home study in June, and matched in October. Our son was born in January. This time, we are specifying gender (girl) and we actively want a baby who is all or part African American, like our son. We also have a lower budget. We've been waiting about 5 months now. You would have to get a home study update. Adoptive parents do not have to pay expectant mother expenses. Most states allow adoptive parents to do so, but they are not mandatory by any means. I used to blog for Adoption Blogs, and I did a series last year on Adopting In the 50 States. Go to: [url=http://domestic-infant.adoptionblogs.com/]U.S. Infant Adoption — Blog with information on open adoption. Includes advice, tips, concerns[/url] In the Categories list, click State Laws. I hope this helps! :hippie:

yup, all Hollywood. Once TPR is signed and put through the courts, nobody can take the child. it's all done at that point. and legally, NOBODY can even try to contact that child until they're 18. in many states, BOTH parties (b-parent and child) have to register with the state in order for ANY info to be released about the other person. i live in an area with a fairly long revocation period, but still have little worry. if you want to go international be prepared for VERRY long waits. some friends of ours adopted from Poland and waiting 2.5 yrs, had to travel twice, and their son was 4 when they were matched. no babies from Poland. China isn't better, the wait time there for a healthy baby girl right now is upwards of 4 yrs. it really has to be your choice as to which way to go.