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Hi all!
Our two-year-old son, adopted from China last April (he was 16 months old when he came home), hits himself with his hands or, when he's in his crib (because it's bedtime), hits his head or hands against the crib. It seems to be for attention, but we're not sure how to get him to stop. I've tried moving him to the middle of his crib, which makes him scream louder and then he rolls to the side and starts and tries hitting his head or hand again. I've told him we love him and don't want him hurting himself. But like yesterday, when he was crying in his crib, I went in to check on him and there he was hitting his head against the crib. Any ideas on how to stop him from hurting himself? Thanks.
Gary & Nancy . . .
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Could it be that when he was in the orphanage he didn't get his emotional needs met so he started this behavior as a sensory seeking exercise? Have you tried picking him up and cuddling him for 5 or 10 minutes until he calmes down and then putting him back in his crib? Maybe wait 5 minutes the first time, then 6 minutes the 2nd time and so on. That way he will know that you are there to comfort him but also give him the opportunity to self soothe? Have you posted on the international adoption forums or the attachment forums to see if others have successfully dealt with a similar issue? You might also want to see if anyone on the foster/adopt boards have dealt with something like this. I adopted a newborn domestically so my ideas are just off the top of my head. You may get better ideas on the other boards.
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GNFrank
Hi all!
Our two-year-old son, adopted from China last April (he was 16 months old when he came home), hits himself with his hands or, when he's in his crib (because it's bedtime), hits his head or hands against the crib. It seems to be for attention, but we're not sure how to get him to stop. I've tried moving him to the middle of his crib, which makes him scream louder and then he rolls to the side and starts and tries hitting his head or hand again. I've told him we love him and don't want him hurting himself. But like yesterday, when he was crying in his crib, I went in to check on him and there he was hitting his head against the crib. Any ideas on how to stop him from hurting himself? Thanks.
Gary & Nancy . . .
Did you get any help with this? Please let me know. I have two sons adopted from foster care - both just under 2 years of age. My first acted out a lot in certain circumstances. Bed time was a hard one. I actually took him out of the crib and changed the whole bed time dynamic. He was moved to a big boy bed with a rail that I would put up after he was asleep. But for the first 3 or so months he would never go to sleep alone. I would lie with him and cuddle and hold him until he fell asleep. Once he was rested and felt secure we slowly worked on soothing him before bed, but getting him to go to sleep on his own. It was a long process and we spent a lot of time sitting in his room until he went to sleep and then sitting outside his room until he went to sleep and then eventually he would go to sleep peacefully on his own. However, not one time, even now two years later, we cuddle him a little, sing him songs and tell him stories in the bed and then we leave.
Please please let me know if you have any questions or if you have been able to resolve this.
Joy to you all. MM
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