My story

I'm the oldest and only girl out of the 4 children my biological mother had. I have no idea where to start. In no way shape or form I want to bash my biological mother. I forgave her a long time ago. She was an unfit mother, consumed in her vices. My biological father died when I was young, I don't know his name. She later went on to marry my brothers dad and later divorced. From there it got worse where she was on drugs, dating abusive men to her and us children. She had my little brother with the man that seemed to do the most damage. All in all we were bounced around from foster homes to finally a group home in Florida. Just to be honest, we were never told what was happening. What this process was. Just that this was our home. This is where we belonged. The 2 older boys went to go live with their biological father in Oklahoma. But one day, a woman and a man came to visit me. Just to talk, and I thought nothing of it. Later I find out they were adopting me and my littlest brother. This is the twist....they already adopted a girl about 11 months older than me. She really wanted a little brother, not a sister. Apparently thats what my adoptive parents were originally looking for. The conversation went something like this: Group home manager lady "We'll set you up with the little boy for sure. He does have an older sister, but we will just split them up." My mom "No, we'll see her too, they arent dogs. You cant just split them up." So, now Im 21 and Im left with this feeling like I was neve really wanted anywhere. Im so enternally happy to be out of the situation I was in. I can't help but feel empty. Then I get angry with myself for even thinking such a thing. Any suggestions? Sorry for the length.