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Hello everyone, I'm posting in this area in hopes that some adult adoptees will respond with some advice. I read the post concerning what to place in a letter from a bmom to a child and that information is most welcome. I also need to hear from adoptees that were not told until they became adults.
My son will be 21 years old in June, to my knowledge, he is unaware he is adopted. I contacted his aparents to determine the situation and they are now refusing contact with me. My intention is to write a letter telling my son my story, provide our family medical history and my contact information. I want him to know that I have no intention of taking anything from him, I only want him to know how much I have always loved him and will accept any decision he makes for future contact.
How do I tell an adult that he was adopted and I am his bmom? How do I even begin the letter?
Any comments are welcome.
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I'd make it simple, and direct. I'd let him know that you had contacted his parents out of respect, but since he was an adult, you wanted to contact him. Tell him who you are, why you made the decision you did, that you've always thought of him, and that you are willing to answer any questions when he's ready. Give every contact number you can. Since he's unaware, I'd include copies of the paperwork, and tell him you understand it may be a shock to hear from you, and that you understand he'll need time to process this.I only suggest you mention that you've had contact with his aparents so you're in front of that. Since they have been incredibly uncooperative, you don't know how they'll spin it. I sincerely hope they have a reality check soon.I know when I had first contact all the questions I had for years disappeared. My bmom offered to answer anything, and my brain was blank. I was someone prepared for this. I can't imagine the overload your son may feel, so please realize it doesn't mean he isn't interested. Good luck!
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