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I was adopted as an infant and I have been extremely blessed that this young woman decided to give me a chance to be raised in a safe, nurturing environment. Nonetheless, I struggled with feelings of low self-worth, constantly trying to fit in and belong throughout my life. I thank God for my yoga practice. Yoga has helped me uncover, nurse, and clear my emotions of low self-worth, abandonment and negative body image. Ive learned how to listen to and respect my body and how to stay quiet and observe my mind. My yoga and meditation practices have become therapy to me. Sitting quietly with my own thoughts was DEAFENING at first. I am amazed at how quickly shame, guilt, doubt and worry rise to the surface. But I am just as amazed when I find that sense of peace during practice, whether it comes while blissing out in a comfortable posture, or while intensely focusing on breath to help settle into a difficult one. That deep sense of inner peace feels like a combination of my mom, husband, best friend and late grandpa all wrapped up in one giving me a warm embrace, the kind where you know youҒre totally understood in this world, everything makes sense and youre perfectly fine in this moment exactly as you are! Yoga and meditation has helped me to find my unique Oneness with the Divine and to know intuitively that I am 100% worthy of love simply by being in this world, regardless of my circumstances. This has encouraged me to become a teacher myself and help others learn self-acceptance and self-love through yoga, with no outside circumstances needed to give them their identity. My yogic journey has also given me the strength and courage to begin my search for my biological mother, mainly to thank her for her selfless act of love and tell her how much I respect and admire her for her decision. ItҒs taken me years to feel comfortable in my own skin but now I embrace my life and want to use it to help others free their minds and open their hearts in self-love. THATS how yoga has inspired me. Yoga is unconditional love.
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Although I missed meeting my birth mother in person by 2 years, I would still like to express my respect, appreciation, admiration and gratitude to her loving, caring spirit for being brave enough to give me up for adoption when she knew that her present circumstances would not have allowed her to provide me the type of life she knew I deserved:
Well, Marilyn, hello, nice to meet you, thank you and goodbye. Here is what I wanted to tell you about my life: you gave me to a wonderful family who gave me more than enough love for both you and I put together. I turned out really good I think! I know you would like the woman I've become. You'd like my mom too. She has such a big heart and probably would have adopted you too if she knew what a tough life you had! Oh, Marilyn, I am so sad and sorry to hear about the difficult life you had and that you were sick and alone for so long! My soul reaches out to you and I hope that you can feel my sincere love for you! I don't know why God put us here in this lifetime--perhaps if reincarnation is real, then our souls planned this life experience we share long before we were both conceived. And you know what? We did know each other in this lifetime as we shared 9 months together while I was in your womb! I can't remember it on a conscious level but I know that we loved each other then. I don't know what else to say but I'm glad I found you and I pray you rest in peace until we meet again. Namaste.