Adoption or Abortion?

Can you get a second opinion about your medical condition? It sounds like you weren't given enough information, if you weren't told that your medicine would cancel out the pill, and now there's nothing safe you can take while pregnant. Does that mean that no one with your condition can have a child? If so, then your doctor should have made that clear when he or she first treated you (and emphasized the importance of using non-hormonal birth control.) I would check with another doctor to see if there's anything else you can do. Also, I wouldn't necessarily assume that you can just "shake it off and move on" if you have an abortion. Some people say they did, and others say they have a lot of regret. Sorry you're in such a tough situation; I hope it all works out for you.

Please do not make any decision based on some strangers advice on a forum. Speak with a counselor. Speak with your support system. You need to decide for yourself when you personally believe life begins. You need to personally, for yourself, decide what you can live with. All the people who will swarm arond you when they hear your case, who promise to help you through - if you do what they belive is right. those people will be gone in 9 months, max. You will only have yourself Planned parenthood is one good place where they will giveyou all the options (and someone to speak to).

I strongly agree that she needs an unbiased counselor to talk to.I strongly disagree on sending her to an abortion clinic like Planned Parenthood to get that unbiased counseling. If you're pro-choice and advocate abortion, that's your right. But this girl needs unbiased advice that explores all her options -including parenting, relative adoption, adoption through an agency or abortion. She isn't going to get unbiased help at an abortion clinic. BTW: I know 4 people who had abortions and later regretted ending their child's life. I don't know any parents who regret giving birth. Aborting the baby may end up being the only option she feels comfortable with. And if that is the case, it's a sad event that she will mourn the rest of her life. Abortion doesn't make anything 'go away'. She has to be sure that she will be able to mourn her loss and live with her decision. And she needs to make sure it's THE option that is best for her. And recommending an abortion clinic isn't what's best for her when she also has other options that can be explored.

In my personal experience, Planned Parenthood does NOT just blindly push abortions. When I have been there, they HAVE talked about options, which did include abortion. (Not all PP's even perform abortions - in fact, very few do - so it would be hard to call them purely abortion clinics). Planned Parenthood also provides prenatal care should you choose to carry the pregnancy to term.Best of luck during the difficult time. (And feel free to PM me if you'd like)

You beat me to this! Planned Parenthood is an excellent resource; they have no stake in pushing for an abortion, but will help you find the resources to make the best decision for you. My thoughts are with you during this trying time. I've been in your shoes and it was one of the most painful times of my life. You're not alone. Please reach out to find support.

I went to the abortion place with my friend who had two children already and found out she got pregnant while nursing. It was more than she could handle. I went with her for moral support to the abortion clinic and I felt horrible. We went through a line of protesters and the room was packed with girls filling out all of the paperwork and crying. I was crying for them too I felt their pain. N o one really wants to do it,but they all had their reasons. I was reading all of the pamplets in the waiting room. She said they asked her if she was having twins if she would want to know. She said yes. They told her she had one healthy pregnancy. She was 6weeks. She went through with it and felt awful. She still has regret but says she would do it again. They never tried for child number three and their marriage broke up since. Somewhere there is a parallell universe where my BMom decided to have an abortion instead of give me up. Its pretty much like this one... not much difference. If I wasn't born my A parents would have adopted another baby and I would have been saved a life of sadness, but on the other hand my son wouldn't be here. I can't give you advice, but it is something to think about. I guess my purpose in life is to make a difference and make it worth all of the pain I suffered to help someone else.:hypno: Be at peace with your decision.

Planned Parenthood is not an "abortion clinic"...it also provides prenatal care, options counseling, PAP smears, gynecological care, etc. I went to our local Planned Parenthood clinic for my pregnancy test when I was 16 (a long time ago!), and the medical staff didn't even bring up the subject of abortion when the test came back positive. I did talk to them about abortion, but I was the one to bring it up, not the staff. They were very professional and very caring...they did not push an "agenda" on me at all.

Planned Parenthood has been VERY helpful to me in the past. They are a woman's health clinic, not an abortion clinic. They champion the right to choose and in those choices adoption is included.

I agree with this quote. Whatever you decide will be the best decision. No one else is in your shoes. It's been a little while since this was posted... Hope you are doing ok.

When I was in your position years ago, I chose adoption over abortion, which is a decision I have never regretted. (I mean abortion. I have regretted adoption.) However, I am going to pass along the advice my mother gave me (also a bmom). When you're pregnant and you think you've made up your mind to choose adoption, realize that when you hold that baby in your arms the first time, you will have to make up your mind all over again. Friends and family are going to try to talk you out of it. If you need more time to think about it, ask for it. Not to scare anyone, but even with Open adoptions, once your rights are terminated your child is no longer yours.

Anything is better than abortion. There are many people with a loving hear desesperately to be parent but dealing with the monster called infertility. Choosing adoption instead abortion you will always know that it was the best decision for your baby. Only who goes through the difficult time by decide to go with adoption knows the sacrifice and pain but also after a time know that it was the best, a complete unselfish attitude of love toward your baby and others that can't have a biological child. In the other hand only people that are going through infertility knows that pain. Everything at life has a purpose and adoption is a supreme act of love which will benefit all: bilogical parents, baby and adoptive parents. :love:

OK, I'll bite. I will probably get flamed for my remarks, but willing to take one for the team. First of all, I would assume that the original poster has already made a decision on abortion or continuing with the pregnancy since her post is now several months old. So this is in response to bluebutterfly78.

I got pregnant in High School as well but had a supportive family and was able to raise my child now I am married with her and now she has a sister with my new husband. I understand your feelings completely. Please know whatever decision you decide is going to be hard parenting is hard, abortion is hard, and adoption is hard. There is no "easy" way out although abortion may seem it. Please get the real facts about abortion before going through with it. It is a decision you cannot take back and will have to live with forever. From many testimonies I have read people who have abortions regret it a great deal and wish they could turn back time. I strongly encourage you to choose adoption and give a family who has been waiting a lifetime for a child to have one. There are several types of adoptions and you can even choose the parents for your unborn child. The emotional effects are not harder on either side of adoption or abortion. I will pray for God to give you peace and also to choose to give your baby a life filled with love and happiness and to you I wish the same....:wings:

KaliJasmine, This is a support forum where we are supposed to not push one choice over the another. And if you tell her about her choices in adoption also tell her about what rights (or lack there of) those choices actually mean to the surrending mother. What about the discussion on ways the mother can look at parenting? All choices are viable. Dickons

I am entitled to my opinions just as people who are pushing abortion. Abortion is the most selfish thing. Obviously God wanted that child conceived and if anyone should take it away it should be him. Adoption on the other hand, yes very emotional, but its giving your child a life that you can't obviously and letting couples that cannot have children the chance to become parents. Abortion is not the easy way out and it is increasingly being linked to breast cancer as well as all of the emotional effects on the woman. I just said she needed to get all of the details of abortion the reality of it not that "its just a cluster of cells" bullS*** .At least when you choose adoption you don't have to regret that you killed your baby you may feel loss but not the same kind of loss....Don't care what yall think because I just as anyone of you am entitled to my opinions and I did wish her well and that God will bring her peace that is support thank you very much!!! But since you bashed me now this is my feelings on all of it :-) and I really don't care what yall think!:banana: