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Hi All,
My hubby and I are white as white.....We are waiting on a domestic newborn adoption from agencies in LA, TX, AL, and IL. We are open to any race, this would be our first child. My concern is that our whitewhitewhite-ness, and that wwww-ness of our families in our portfolio will make us undesirable for a mom-to-be of color. Does anyone with similar experience have any info they can share with me?
We completed our homestudy and our portfolios went out Mar 11, this Friday 5/6/2011 will be our 2 month mark. We are so anxious to meet our child!
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We are white white white as well, and had no problems at all being matched on 3 different occasions with expectant mothers who were AA.
Two of our matches came immediately after getting our profile and homestudy done (we used various referral services and actually matched with 2 in one day). Unfortunately the one we chose to go with ended up with the mother choosing to parent.
We had another match about a month later and some severe medical issues came up. We finally ended up matching with a white bmom who was expecting a biracial baby.
But to answer your question we had no problems at all with moms of color choosing us. In all three cases they liked that we had a nice family and home and that we were educated and were going to provide a good stable home for their child. In the end that was more important to them than our race.
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We addressed why we wanted to adopted transracially in our book. We also addressed how we would tackle any obstacles. Our fm chose us because we were down to earth, and had lots of similar interests. I think she felt we would raise her daughter the same way she would.
The best thing to do is be honest. One bm might choose you because you like to wear purple hats another might hate you because you wear purple hats.
We were open matched three months in with a African American girl but the mom decided to parent. Two months later we were matched with our dd who was baby born and is Caucasian, Hispanic and African American.
It took less than a year but felt like it took ten:)
My hubby and I are white. We were open to any race. We waited 9 months. However, the first 6 months of that was with an agency that was jerking us around, then we signed with a second agency and were matched for 3 months with a situation that didn't work out. Our son came to us 4 days after the situation that fell through. He is full AA. His first mom didn't care about us being white. She cared about us traveling alot and being "fun". I hope your journey is a short one and I wish you the best of luck!
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Hi Again, First of all thank you for all the replies. I feel much better knowing that other people with similar heritage to my own have had such success. There were quite a few comments about agencies "jerking people around" or being scams etc. That kind of has me concerned. We are using a reputable agency in Wisconsin...but it's been a couple months and we havent heard anything. Also, I emailed my social worker with a question a couple days ago and still havent heard back from her. Is this normal? I'm feeling kind of abandoned by her, and am tempted to contact the agency to make sure all is good, but dont want to make her angry. Anyone has any ideas or info about this would be GREATLY appreciated! I'm probably being a worry wart, but...I'm just READY and wish there was more contact from her to reassure me. :o
We are about the palest you can get too :) Our daughter's first mom chose us after meeting us and we all just clicked really well. We had similar backgrounds and seemed to have similar parenting beliefs.
We had a bumpy road (international, to special needs domestic, to our beautiful AA daughter) in all it was just under a year. From the time our homestudy was signed to our match was less than 4 months, and S arrived a month early so it went quick once we matched :)
And we should be homestudy approved this week again, so we'll see how long the wait is this time.
waitingwisconsin
We are using a reputable agency in Wisconsin...but it's been a couple months and we havent heard anything. Also, I emailed my social worker with a question a couple days ago and still havent heard back from her. Is this normal? I'm feeling kind of abandoned by her, and am tempted to contact the agency to make sure all is good, but dont want to make her angry. Anyone has any ideas or info about this would be GREATLY appreciated! I'm probably being a worry wart, but...I'm just READY and wish there was more contact from her to reassure me. :o