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I have three children and we want to complete our family with a fourth. My first child is adopted and I have two biological children, all girls. They are all still relatively young. We want to have our children be close in age. My question is we are all white and we are looking to adopt a child of any race as it does not matter to us at all. We are also open to alot of different issues (drug use, mental health, gender). My fear is that a birth family will look at our family with little diversity. I am sure that this is a fear that most families have. I am just looking for suggestions on maybe how to make our profile. We have a more diverse extended family on both sides. Both cousins on both sides have biracial children and one adopted from Columbia (though she is 23 now and has her own children). What are some thoughts on this issue. Or is it not an issue at all?Thank you for your responses, I am just constantly thinking about making a profile again and going through the wait. With our first daughter we were matched in two weeks!!! She was our first daughter though. I do believe that when you meet your child you know it is right and that the situation needs to be right. We always say that our daughter was meant to be with us and I truly believe that. I also understand that it depends on the birth family and what they are looking for...Just looking for positive thoughts and suggestions.
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We included a page on why we were open to transracial adoption and how we will nurture that. We also included photos of our dd's godparents who are a bi-racial couple as well as all of our friends who are of different races and backgrounds. My friends laughed when they saw our book because they were like "you pimped us out!" but it was all in good humor. Just stress how you will overcome any diversity issues in a positive way:)
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For our DD's birth parents, we just showed images of our friends and family. Both DP and my family is "extremely Black" and there is very little interracial marriage and no trans racial adoption amongst them. However, we live in an urban neighborhood and mentioned that in our profile because even though our immediate neighborhood is not diverse (mostly White gay men) other neighborhoods nearby are extremely diverse. We also mentioned our friends who are Cambodian, Chinese and Korean (we met them WAY before we even thought of having children or started living together - back in college!). Finally, I also addressed how we plan to celebrate our daughter's heritage. We talked about sending our children to diverse schools (DD now attends a school that has lots of Asian children), play dates with our college friends who have children around DD's age and visiting cultural events that happen a lot in our area.
I agree with everyone else, that you should include info about your extended family, and just anything that will show that you are able to see people as people and not a color. With our last child, who is Haitian/Filipino, I had said that I went to high school in a predominantly Filipino are in Hawaii and that many of my best friends there were Filipino. The birth mom was very happy to hear that. In general, it is true that families that have at least one member, all ready, who is not white are seen as desirable. One thing that I think often helps, for families who are currently all white, is if you are interested in adopting two or more children of color. It is not essential, of course, but having a child not be the only one who is different can make things a little bit more comfortable, if you know what I mean. Birth parents might feel better if they know that the child will have a younger sibling who is similar to them. I don't know if things have changed since our last adoption, 15 years ago, but there used to be a shortage of families, especially for black babies, so birth parents are often not in a position to be too picky about things like race. I also believe that we get the children who are meant to be with us. I am sure that your future child's birth mother will see a loving family and feel good about having her child become a part of it.
Thank you for your responses. We would be open to adopting more than one child especially twins or possible a sibling group, but we really are looking for 2 and younger so a sibling group may be hard to come by. The agency's that I have talked to really haven't mentioned our race at all (white looking to adopt AA). I think there is a need and I hope that our birth mom will answer our prayers and that we can answer hers.
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I live in pretty much the whitest place in the country, at least according to the US census bureau. I have some non-white friends and several CC friends who have adopted transracially, but it's not a large percentage or the folks I'm closest to; none of them showed up in my profile because it didn't feel honest when the other people would be my closest friends and family. My son's bparents didn't say anything to the counselor about that; they talked about the things they liked about me - where I live, how I live my life, my personality, family, etc. He came to me at 8 days old. Like pp's have said, show the diversity that is in your life, but only as far as is honest. Someone will love you for who you are, and if you try to overplay what you think e-parents are looking for, you might miss them!
Before my oldest daughter's adoption, we were an all white family. It didn't prevent me from being chosen. Since her adoption, we have become very multicultural. My little boy was Vietnamese & Mexican. My younger daughter is black. And I have nieces & nephews who are Filipino & Korean. One thing they may mention is that being the ONLY black child or asian child in an all white family can be tough. It helps if there is at least someone like them-an aunt, a cousin or another sibling who shares the same racial background. Living in a multicultural neighborhood or attending a multicultural school would be a bonus, too.