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I just had my first appointment with my caseworker. Im looking to adopt a girl ages 3-7, any race. During the appointment my caseworker emphasized that her job is to find a home that fits a child, not find a child for me. She made me feel like sheҒd be assigning me a child. Im afraid to ask certain questions now because IҒm afraid shell take my specifics as being ғpicky. I know when people adopt from private agencies they can be specific (eye color,hair, complexion) But how specific can you be when adopting a child from foster care?...How did you ԓchoose your child without rubbing your caseworker the wrong way? How much say so will I have in the child IԒm given? Will I see a photo before I choose?
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Your adoption worker will not be assigning you a child. She will present children to you that she thinks you would be a good fit for, and then you say yes or no. They can't make you take a child. What she meant is that it is primarily the child's needs that are considered in deciding on a placement. You do not need to give the worker all your specifics about what you want in a child unless they ask. Specifics you should probably give are your openness to medical, emotional, and developmental special needs, race, age range, and sex. You will be given information about any child they offer you, and you can take those considerations into account when you decide on whether or not to accept the placement. If you are very picky about hair and eye color, etc... you are unlikely to find a match. In my experience (a different state), adoptive placements are hard to come by.You may or may not see a photo. There may be pages and pages of information available or you may be given very little (and possibly inaccurate) information about the child.
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[QUOTE=Lavonne80] I know when people adopt from private agencies they can be specific (eye color,hair, complexion) QUOTE]
Like the pp said, the CWer's job is to find a home for a child, as it should be. I also have not come across any private agencies that let you specify eye color, hair color, complexion. Most of us just want to be parents, and those things are not important. And a lot of folks open to all sorts of things STILL wait a long time. The longer your list, the potentially longer your wait.
I can imagine telling her those sorts of wishes might not make the best impression. I'd instead focus on what sorts of special needs/health issues you feel prepared to handle. Good luck.