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For my AS, we visit, email, share a ton of pics, and text with his bd. I do save emails, don't save texts, but I am wondering if I should keep a log of visits we do with bd.
The real reason I am wondering this is because I am afraid bd will fall off the face of the earth, and AS will want to know why we haven't maintained contact.
Am I making a bigger deal out of this than I should? Bd is super nice to us, but gets into trouble with the law quite a bit. I'm pretty sure he's going to jail soon, anyway. When he gets out, I'm not sure he'll contact us.
But either way, the visit information is something I imagine my son would like to know. Where we visited, when, how often, who was there, etc etc. Especially with these visits that he's really not going to remember from toddler-hood!
I was thinking of just making a photobook of visits with bd, but DH took AS to his first post-TPR visit with bd back in January, and didn't take any pics. :grr:
We have scheduled another visit this month, so I am definitely bringing the camera.
How do others do this?
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I hadn't ever thought about it before. To be honest, our BM has fallen off the face of the Earth. She's mad b/c I wouldn't bring the baby to see her on baby's birthday (it was also our adoption day FWIW). If you want to be able to save texts, I highly recommend Google Voice. It saves everything in an inbox online so you can print it later if you want.
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We do not have visits with Z's First Mom, but I save a scanned copy of every letter I send to her. I usually put some pictures in the letter, so before I send it, I snap a pic of the pictures with my phone (does that makes sense?) so I know which ones I've sent. I store that in the same folder as the scanned letter. My thinking is that someday Z might want to know that a) I maintained contact; and b) what I said to his First Mom. I think of it as creating a history for him.
i save every email. this captures where the visits were and that they happened.
I would not want to log the visits - for a couple reasons
1) the things that stand out for me (alcohol on the breath, forcing the beef jerky, throwing up on the way home) are negatives. I honestly don't see a lot of warmth/relationship/connection (one year in)
2) I don't want to cloud J's memories. Her perspective is important. If she wishes to see her mom a certain way, that's ok. There are plenty of family members who will attampt to portay T in a horrible light. I'm trying to stay neutral, while protecting her with boundaries
In time, like with all of us, she'll see her other mom... the good and bad. as she will with me
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