Want to donate embryo, not abort it. Don't know where to go!

Thank you, all! Going in this afternoon! Will keep you updated. <3

I am confident that the very fact that you are thinking along those lines shows that it's not as simple as "choosing" to have an abortion over adoption as it is being forced into it by your medical situation. I commend you for wanting to save your baby's life, and you definitely should seek the opinion of a high risk OBGYN to see if there are special precautions that can be taken under the care of a doc who specializes in high risk pregnancies so you can carry your baby to term. But if the professional opinion is such that you would be putting your life in danger by continuing with the pregnancy, you really aren't left with any choice, because your baby couldn't survive anyway if you didn't.[url=http://www.buyoutlook2010.com/goods-25.html]Office Home and Student 2010[/url]

Well, thank you to everyone who tried to help and offer support during this awful time. I'm sorry to say that today, after seeing a second, and then still a third doctor at the hospital, I got the answer I was expecting, but not the one I was hoping for. The first doctor I saw today gave me my second ultrasound, and the first thing he said when he looked at my uterus was "Ohhhhhhhh... no! No. I'm sorry, no." He told me he knew I had come there hoping to hear differently, but that he could in no way ethically recommend I go through with the pregnancy. However he told me he was still willing to do bloodwork, and take a uralysis, and send me to speak to one of the high risk maternity specialists if I wanted a third opinion. I told him yes, I did want to. So I was sent to the 1st floor to get blood drawn, then a nurse came and took me to another room to wait for one of the leading doctors at the hospital who specializes in high risk pregnancies. But when she came in the room to speak with me, I could tell right when she said hello to me that the answer was still no. She gave me the cold hard truth and explained to me that typically the type of patients they see are women who's chances of getting through their pregnancies unharmed was determined to be about 70-80%, stressing to me that a 20-30% chance of sustaining serious injury or death was still a very high number to gamble one's life on, especially when most healthy normal women have more than a 99% chance of surviving their pregnancies in good health. She then told me point blank that based on the ultrasound, my bloodwork, and my medical history, my chances of going through childbirth and coming out ok were less than 40%, and in addition to that, the chances of me delivering a healthy baby were less than 60%. She said she was sorry she couldn't come to me with better news, and if I insisted, she could refer me to a few other high risk specialists and clinics, but warned me that no doctor or facility who cares a thing about their patient's health was going to be willing to consent to carrying me through a pregnancy when the odds are so against it going well. I couldn't say much, except that I understood, I had been told this for years before this happened. My ovaries are healthy, but my uterus and cervix are too scarred and faulty to reasonably sustain a baby without huge threats of health hazard to myself and the fetus. I told her I had prepared myself for this news, I just didn't want to go through with a termination before really finding out if there was any other option for me. She said she knew I wanted to save this child and if their department could have helped me, they would. I was brought back downstairs to the obgyn to go over the safest method of termination for me, which would be the early abortion pill. I, of course, unhappily consented to this and signed the forms, and the doctor left to get my first pill. Before I took it I told the little growing being inside me that I was sorry I wasn't able to save it (I only call it "it" because I'll never know if it was going to be a boy or a girl). I was sorry I hadn't used a better form of birth control to prevent this little life from entering the world only to be robbed of it's chance to exist as the person it could have grown up to be, and I was sorry it was conceived in a body that could not support it. And I hoped that if there was a little soul in there yet, that God would give it the second chance I couldn't give it with a much more able bodied woman who could give this little soul the gift of life it couldn't have from me. I felt so bad as I took the first pill. The doctor explained to me before this, that most women were sent home with the 4 pills they were to take on their own the next day, but because of my injured uterus that already plagues me with horridly unstable irregular periods and burning cramps and pain, I would need to come back to the hospital the next day to take the remaining pills in their presence due to my risk of hemorrhaging. I don't know how I am going to go back. I could barely swallow the first pill. I wanted to save this baby. I know I can't help my condition, but I really feel like I failed today. I'll always wonder who this child could have been if I was able to save it. I really hope God gives this one a second chance with someone else, if at all possible. I hate having to end a future person's existence before it barely even began. The feeling is overwhelmingly horrible. I hate the thought of this little one that could have been never existing again. Even though I don't talk to God as often as I probably should, today I begged Him to give this child a chance with someone else, or at least take it's little soul to heaven. I'm sorry to this baby. I'm sorry I couldn't give it life. ;_;

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please be kind to yourself and know that you did not fail and this is not your fault.

D-IN-CA (((((((((hugs)))))))) your last post brought me to tears. PLease like bjolly said be kind to yourself and let Him wrap his arms around you. You tried all of your available options. Please take this time to properly greive and don't be a stranger here if you need the support

(((hugs))) I agree. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to someone else in your situation. You did all you could in this very difficult situation. If you continue to feel grief and guilt, please consider some counseling. It can really help get you through this difficult time. I for one do believe that souls will come into the world through one vessel or another, and the ones who are meant to be in this world will get here. my thoughts are with you.

:grouphug: I am so sorry that you couldn't get better news today. I agree with the others - while it doesn't make you feel any better about being in this situation, you did do everything you could. Personally, I believe that your little baby is going straight to God. He or she had a very short, but very important, mission in the world. His/Her existence, as short-lived as it has been, has touched multiple lives - yours, your boyfriends, the medical staff you turned to, us here, among others I'm sure. Please consider some grief counseling for yourself, maybe for your boyfriend too. You are always welcome here... and you may also want to check out the sister sites, Fertility and Pregnancy Forums. The latter has a thread for others who have experienced miscarriage, and the former has women who I'm sure have similar medical situations to yours and may have also experienced miscarriage. You are in my prayers.

Elizabeth I am so very sorry to hear that you had to do what you did I pray for you that you have time to heal and down the line you and your boyfriend will find someone willing to carry a baby to term for you

I am so very sorry for your loss, grief is so hard. It just is. We often don't want it to "go away," we want the reason for it to change. At least, I did when I miscarried 21 years ago. Back then, people didn't talk about it; when they did, they usually said something ridiculously insensitive or ignorant. I pray for the lifting of guilt that doesn't belong to you as well as the comfort of time, which you may not see or even want right now. If you can, meditate or pray or find yourself in some transcending experience to let go of that guilt, let it flow back out to the universe that brought it to you. You deserve to remember your child without the darkness of undeserved guilt surrounding him or her. She or he deserves that, too. If a soul was there, he or she was a special soul, maybe too special for this world. You are special for having carried him or her, special for having given him or her someone who loves them, whether angel on earth or in the heaven of your heart. Cherish that soul always for the love it unfolded within you. Peace, H

{{{{desperate in ca}}}} I am so sorry that you had to go through this. You have made the only choice that you could make. Take good care and please forgive yourself. Your angel will be forever in your heart:wings: SM

Thank you again and again, everyone! I'm feeling pretty numb at the moment. Having a hard time accepting this. I wish it could have turned out differently. After the first pill, I actually contemplated not taking the last four, but I had to because the first pill was supposed to have killed the embryo, and the other four pills expel the contents of the uterus so you don't get an infection. I do wish I could go back and not take the first pill, but I know it would be dangerous. The bf is being very supportive and patient with me, as you all have been. I need that so much, since I am unable to give that to myself right now. So thanks to everybody so much.

I am so sorry honey! You did not fail, you did what is best for the situation. You are in my prayers and I am wishing you a fast recovery and healing heart! God Bless!

Thank you Michael and Joanna. You were very nice to offer support to me. This has definitely been hard, but things are very slowly getting better. Family and friends have been a wonderful help to me. As have you and everyone here.

You are very welcome! Hope you are feeling a little better!

Hi can you email me don't abort the child I'll adopt it my email is deniseladybug6@aol.com we are a Christian couple wanting a child