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Can anyone help me???! I just found out I'm pregnant, but my boyfriend and I are in no position at this time to raise a child. We simply aren't fit to give this child a good life right now. In addition to that, I am at high risk of serious complications if I carry this child to term and give birth to it. My doctor and my family are telling me that early abortion looks like my best option right now, and I thought I could force myself to go through with it, but I don't think I can. :'(
I want to donate my embryo, but because this is my first pregnancy and I was asthmatic as a kid, I'm not eligible to donate it to an embryo bank, but there has to be another way than abortion. Surely there is a family out there who would want to give this child a second chance. My boyfriend and I will most likely need a surrogate mother when we do decide to have children, but right now we are unable to give a child a good home. I don't want to have to abort, but I don't know where I can find a place that would want to adopt out my embryo! Please help!
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While I agree with your doctor that early abortion is, medically, your best option, I respect your conviction that abortion is morally repugnant.
Your next best option would be to get a referral to a really top notch perinatologist (a doctor who specializes in high risk pregnancies), and have him/her monitor you closely during your pregnancy and, if necessary, have him/her deliver your child by C-section as soon as it seems that the child can survive without major complications. You can then make the decision to place the child, assuming that he/she survives, for adoption.
A woman is not a birthmother until she delivers her child, has enough time to recover from the birth experience, and can make a decision to place in a clear-headed, unpressured way.
Embryo adoption is used almost exclusively in cases involving assisted reproduction -- where eggs were fertilized outside a woman's uterus, and then implanted into her. Sometimes, too many eggs are successfully fertilized, and the doctors don't want to implant them all, because it isn't healthy for Mom or baby to have sextuplets or octuplets, and yet the parents don't want the excess embryos to be destroyed. The adoption of the excess embryos is done only after the mother successfully delivers the babies implanted in her, because if she miscarried, she and her spouse would probably want to use the excess embryos to "try again."
Adoption of embryos that have actually grown in a woman's body raises complex medical and legal issues. I strongly doubt that you will find anyone who will be willing to try taking your embryos out of your body and giving them to someone else. Doctors will NOT consider the procedures safe and effective, and lawyers will point to the fact that the body of law on embryo adoption is still evolving, and that, as things currently stand, you, your doctors, and a prospective adoptive family might be in a precarious legal position.
Sharon
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