I just don't understand :(

In my day (cue "quivering voice" lol), I am sure there were many couples who adopted so they could "keep up with the Joneses". There were also others who wanted babies but forgot that babies grow up lol. Before anyone flames me, yes I know people beget children for those reasons too.

(((((Dreams))))) I don't get it either. It's not like they have the "oops" excuse, KWIM? I'm sorry.

Hi Dream610 Sorry to hear you are feeling frustrated. Sometimes people's actions are a mystery and we just can't hope to understand! I like to tell myself that as people, we do the best with what we're given. People cope with grief and frustration the best way they know how, and that looks different for everybody. I hope you too can find a healthy way of coming to terms with things. Best of luck.

I laughed when i read this. LOL! Probably because i relate to it. My aparents are difficult as well. Unnecessarily difficult...most arguments and situations are avoidable, yet we always end up in them. I'm glad i'm my OWN person and not like them.

I was lied to about being adopted until I was 28 and found out on my own. I feel like if my "mother" had been my biological mother she did a shi!ty job, but given that she adopted me under extenuating circumstances I'll give her the benefit of the doubt that she may have tried her best. In my case I think that my adoptive mother had a tough time bonding with me because she had lost two babies at birth, I'm sure I reminded her of the children she lost. My mother grew up in a very racist family, when she started adoption proceeding she didn't know what race I was and I think it was an issue for her that I'm part African American. My mother was horrible, the things she has put me through defies logic to me. She had me from birth and I look at my own children and even if I hadn't given birth to them, just knowing a child from a young age it puzzles me how you could ever treat that child the way she has treated me. We are no longer in contact primarily because she was mad at me for wanting to know the truth about being adopted. She turned my whole family against me and went as far as to not even tell me when my mentally disabled adoptive father died. I choose to believe that she at one point had good intentions, I do think that she thought she could love me and treat me like I was her own child. But that somehow it just never happened. I know it doesn't make sense, but I just try to do better and create a better legacy with my children and my stepson. My adoptive mother is a self-absorbed, delusional, materialistic woman who will never make sense or be a real mother, I felt that void for long enough, that I try really hard to let it go. I didn't have a mother then and I never will.

If you lived in Alabama, I'd adopt you in a sec!!! Okay, maybe not legally, but you know!! I'm so sorry for your losses. It's not enough that you lost your bfamily but now you've lost what was left. I'll jump in say that not all women were meant to be moms. Perhaps she adopted for the wrong reasons. But know this... God has used this to make you the woman and mom you are now. God gives us all free will. Not everything is according to His plan, but know that you are where you are because of your experiences, not in spite of them. If you can't accept and forgive her for her life, it will have a negative influence in yours. I will keep you in my prayers and hope that you will spend the next 28 years celebrating the life you have made, not being angry about the one you missed out on!

If you are talking about Mymotherssacrifice, you might want to take time to read her story.