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I was 18. He'd passed almost 16 years ago but it was so new to me. My parents had heard from my great grandma, who my whole life I thought was simply a family friend. I couldn't believe I was uncontrollably sobbing in my living room over a man I'd never met. I had so many things I wanted to know, and to find out he was gone shattered that perfect dream world I had in my head.
Samantha13192
I was 18. He'd passed almost 16 years ago but it was so new to me. My parents had heard from my great grandma, who my whole life I thought was simply a family friend. I couldn't believe I was uncontrollably sobbing in my living room over a man I'd never met. I had so many things I wanted to know, and to find out he was gone shattered that perfect dream world I had in my head.
It is hard to hear that a bparent has passed away.
My bmother passed away quite young and I met the extended family last year. I have been surprised at the emotions I have felt towards her, I didn't think I would feel anything much at all!
So I can understand how you feel.
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I'm so sorry for your loss, Samantha! I have not had to deal with this personally, but I can see why it would be very painful. Does he have parents who are still living that you could reach out to? What about siblings? If you could find an Aunt or Uncle, they may be able to answer a lot of questions for you and share similarities, pictures, etc.
Snoopy
snoopy87
I'm so sorry for your loss, Samantha! I have not had to deal with this personally, but I can see why it would be very painful. Does he have parents who are still living that you could reach out to? What about siblings? If you could find an Aunt or Uncle, they may be able to answer a lot of questions for you and share similarities, pictures, etc.
Snoopy
I agree with Snoopy. I have found that getting to know my uncles and cousins and having them share their photos and memories, as well as getting to know them in their own right, has helped a lot. I have decided it is quite nice having lots of new relatives lol. Of course, it will always be hard not to have my bmom as one of those people but that doesn't mean I can't get to love my other relatives as well.
Btw don't think there is anything wrong with sobbing uncontrollably - I still do it every now and then. Sometimes I'm not even sure exactly why lol.
I honestly don't know if he has family. Searching is still very new to me, and I am still in the process of finding my bmother.
Well I'm glad I'm not the only one. Thanks for the support and understanding. I am still in the process of finding the family so we'll see how that goes.
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I've just reunited with my birth family and found my birthmom passed quite some time ago. I've met the family but I grieve for her. Hang in there.
I know how you feel. I found my birth family a year ago, and when I found them I found out that my birth mother had passed 16 years ago. Its hard to handle, but at least you get some type of closure of knowing something instead of nothing. At least that helped me a little. Good luck.
I read this post and this brings to me one of the biggest fears i have ever had. I recently found out about my daughter who was adopted last year, and because she is 17 i really cant do anything to reach out to her, yes i have reached to her parents, but they have told me they will let her know about me if she asks..
but I think of her an di think, what if i should pass before i get to know her, or she gets to know me..
I am terrified of that thought, and it is what makes me feel i need to reach to her, because we are not guaranteed tomorrow.
Samantha, know that he loved you, and he is looking at you know from above and smiling at the young lady who is his daughter. You may have missed him here, but one day you will have eternity with him..
My daughter I pray I will meet her someday..and i look forward to that day..
sfreeman6
I read this post and this brings to me one of the biggest fears i have ever had. I recently found out about my daughter who was adopted last year, and because she is 17 i really cant do anything to reach out to her, yes i have reached to her parents, but they have told me they will let her know about me if she asks...
This frustrates me. I never knew to ask about my b-dad. My a-parents never mentioned him so I assumed that nobody knew anything about him. I never would have brought it up to my a-rents but I was most defiantly thinking about adoption and who my father was.
This is why secrets are so very very bad. :hissy:
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Mr Freeman, I hope you eventually get to know your daughter. In the meantime, write her letters, tell her about yourself, answer those e-mail questionaires that come around with questions like beer or wine, morning person or night owl. I'm sure that when you finally meet up, she'd like to have a look over them to see how you've answered.
I wish you all the best.
How about writing it all down, how you feel, your "story" etc. Send a COPY to the parents and ask that they give it to her WHEN she asks. That way it is straight from you. Also, include contact info. My son's bmom died 5 months ago (he was 7 mo old) and I am so happy that she wrote him a letter and gave it to me. He will always have her story in her handwriting. I am in the process of making a scrapbook of nothing but his birthfamily so that he will always have it at his fingertips. I loved my son's bmom and I selfishly feel cheated that my son will never know her. But I have a small part of her and for that I am grateful!
Good luck!