Sharing your thoughts about birth mom/family with friends/adoptive family...

Latina17, No, I haven't found it easy to put the various emotions and feelings and needs from my search and reunion process into words for others who are not adoptees themselves. It's very strange for me...I sometimes feel like I can't find the right words to communicate accurately with people I've known for years, but can feel like there's this unspoken translation thing going on with another adoptee. You said that "I'm not sure what my hesitation is and I'm having trouble identifying the emotion thats associated with my inability to mention how much I think about her." If I was going to put on my amateur psychologist hat for a moment, I'd wonder if the answer to your trouble isn't also contained in your thread? Right at the start of the post you said that you "often dream about finding my birthmom or even finding out if she's still alive." Sometimes fear can be caused by the possibility of finding out that your "dream" may not measure up to reality. However you decide to pursue your search, I wish you the best. If you have a supportive group of adoptive family and friends as you mentioned, I would say to take a deep breath and be honest with them. They're likely to be honest with you in return. I think one of the most important things to try to accept right at the beginning is to not carry too many expectations into the search process. It can be quick or slow, and yield wonderful results or nothing at all. At the risk of using a cliche, sometimes you just have to roll with it. Best, PADJ