Checking References

Here is a few that I ask: * Was your adoption domestic or international (what country)? * How long did your homestudy take (start to finish)? * Do you feel that it was worth the cost (compared to other agencies)? * What other agencies did you consider before deciding on this agnecy? * What was the deciding factor that made you choose them over others? * Did you feel that the agency and employees acted in an ethical manner? * Did you have any concerns during the process? If so, what was the outcome? * How long ago did you use them for your homestudy?

I emailed and asked to speak to the individuals in person. I think it is easier for them to explain their answers than write them via email. I was most concerned with accurate information on the background/health of the child and the business practices of the in-country translator/facilitator. They may not agreed with everything done, but were they ethical. Did they push them to make life decisions based on emotion with limited time? Did they provide useful guidance/information on not just the process, but the kids emotions and support? Would you recommend them? Would you use them again or would you use another agency that works with Poland?

While you should certainly contact clients whose names are given to you by the agency, do remember that these people are likely to be the agency's most satisfied clients. To get a more balanced picture, try to find people in your local adoption support group, or in on-line forums like this one, and get some additional references (by private email if you are in an on-line forum). Always look for people who've used the agency very recently and for the same country that you are considering, recognizing that an agency can have a great program in one country and a very average program in another, and that the quality of programs can change over time, especially if there is a change in the program manager or other key individual, etc. Be very specific in what you ask the agencies. The list above is a very good one for general questions. However, be sure to ask questions geared to your particular situation -- like the following: 1. We've never traveled overseas before and we're a little nervous about this part of the adoption. We want an agency that will "hold our hand" every step of the way, like giving us advice on getting our passports and visas, linking us to a travel agency that will help us make our flights and hotel reservations, having someone who speaks English with us or on call 24 hours a day, etc. Were you experienced world travelers or newbies like us, when you traveled? What sort of things did your agency do to help you have a smooth trip? Did you ever feel that you needed someone to help you or give you advice, and you couldn't get help from your in-country guide or your agency? 2. All this adoption paperwork that I've heard about sounds really scary. My husband and I both have college degrees, but we both seem to draw a blank when confronted with government forms and things like that. How good was the agency at helping us with the paperwork, like what we need in our dossier, how to get it, and what we need to do to authenticate it? Did it offer any help in actually completing forms like the I-600A/I-800A, the I-864, etc.? 3. We're Polish and were born to Catholic parents, but we don't practice our religion; I guess you'd call us agnostics. We do have strong ethical beliefs and think that we can raise children to live ethical lives and respect good people of all religions. We just wouldn't be comfortable with an agency that wants families who are practicing Catholics, that includes lots of religious stuff in the materials they give families, or that wants us to lie about our religious practices to the Polish authorities. Did you find that the agency was truly non-sectarian and inclusive, or did it operate from the perspective of one religion and seem to give preference to people who believed in that religion? 4. We've read a lot about medical issues in internationally adopted kids. We can handle a lot of things, but the one thing that really concerns us is raising a child with a fetal alcohol spectrum disorder, because we know that some kids born to women who drank during pregnancy wind up with learning problems, impulse control problems, and other problems that can be serious and persist into adulthood. Did you feel that your agency gave you every scrap of information that it had about your child's health, and that the information was pretty accurate? Did it ever request additional information, to ease your concerns? Did it give you advice on where to look for information about FASD and other disorders, and where to find professionals who deal with these disorders? Did it ever push you to accept a referral of a child, even when you were pretty sure that he/she had a medical issue like FASD? I hope this helps. Sharon