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general parenting question. so my 6 yo is having a playdate. first time with this child in my home, but she's played with her at a friends home many times. she is also in our class at school. i really like this kid, cause she calls dd on her behavior with me. "listen to your mom" etc.
dd does great at other peoples homes for playdates. she gets weird at our house. doesn't want to play with the friend. when i suggest she needs to do what the guest wants to do or at least be in the same room, she acts out. not in an end of the world kind of way, but suggests i'm yelling at her, talking in a mean way, etc. even this visiting kid knows dd is wrong.
now just as some background, i seem to find myself in a pull/push situation with dd frequently. i find myself arguing with her. she's a last word girl. maybe i just need to vent. there's no reason they can't entertain themselves for more than 5 minutes without me.
dd has cried twice already! wants to watch a dvd, the other kid doesnt. when i say no to taking the portable dvd player in her room-cause we just usually don't do that, she gets upset again.
ugggh.
My DD is 6 as well... but love having playdates @ her house. However, I have seen various behaviors when she goes to others and one child very much like u described. What makes it even more odd is my DD and "K" are cousins and have been BFF's since toddlers. But this past summer playdates were "NO FUN" because they couldn't compromise on activities or get too competitive with activities and/or K would prefer to just be "by herself" rather than inter-act w/ DD. My cousin and I both have done "LOTS" of talking w/ both of them. Now some playdates are good and some aren't. It is a work-in-progress. When they aren't w/ each other they beg to see each other!? Luckily other playdates have gone great!!!
K and DD seem to be having a personality conflict right now.
Might not be ur issue??? but might want to check for a different personality friend to see if same behavior?
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At 6 yrs old, they are learning how to interact with each other.
My daughter has done things that horrify me (more than the kid they are done to) - at a party, closing the door to her bedroom with only some of her guests inside.
If I call her on the behavior in the middle of the activity - in front of the audience, she did not hear me.
I found I need to let her make some of her own mistakes. Afterwards (after the kids have left) have her revisit the activities, visualize how she would have felt in the other kids shoes, and discuss other ways she could have handled it
According the the flyers we're getting from J's second grade class (she turns 7 next week), empathy only really starts developing around age 7. Expecting a 6 year old to intuit proper hostessing choices might be setting yourself up for disaster
On a good note, the other 6 years olds are able to get over these slights pretty easily
If your child grows up with a sense of entitlement, they will neither develop healthy self-esteem, nor be able to meet life's challenges. Entitlement creates
such problems because a fulfilling life is the product of caring about others, being confident in our own abilities, and being motivated to share our talents. A spoiled child rarely learns any of these skills.
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