Trouble bonding with adoptive child

I think it gets more awkward to do attachment activities as children get older, I wish I was better at that. When my daughter was in the 7 to 9 yr range I did a lot of holding her and bottle feeding her and various attachment activities (activities with laughter, eye contact, movement, etc, I forget exactly all the pieces, I think there were 6 things involved?) like batting a balloon back and forth. Sometimes things got too hilarious and she'd accidentally pee in her pants! But it was worth all the effort, she is a very loving kid now in spite of the attachment therapist saying she has RAD and the early years of knives/stabbing pillows/setting a fire/threatening suicide daily (she still has suicidal thoughts a lot unfortunately). Books that helped me were "Attaching in Adoption" and "Theraplay". The latter book is not written at an easy level and put me to sleep every night for weeks, but worth reading anyway.