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I am 45 yo and have just been in the hospital for the first time in my life. I was asked numerious times about my medical history and told them I have none, I was adopted at birth.
I was told at the age of 11 about my adoption, I have had a good life, had anything I ever wanted. I have noticed as I hae went along in life I am always searching, What for I don't know, the meaning of life? The meaning of my life, perhaps. But the visit to the hospital got me thinking, maybe now is the time to search out my history.
I was asked at 11 if I wanted to find my birth mother and felt kind of insulted. Was I not part of this family I have grown to love. Would it break my families hearts if I did. Well my mom died when I was 19 and as I feel alone in life, after the hospital and wanting to know my history, I put in a Non-Identifying request.
Well this is what I know about my adoption. My Godfather, I called him Uncle Eddie, was an attorney and was told he handled the adoption. He was a life long friend of my adoptive mother's family. After getting back the report from the state I realized that was the case. Uncle Eddie died in 1974 when I was 8 years old. I have fond memories of him. He took me to do stuff all the time. We went to disney world in Florida when it first opened. He was a pearl harbor survivor and he would take me to the yearly reunions of the survivors. He was so good to me, I remember going everywhere with him.
The papers from the state show that he handled the adoption. The papers said the birth mother was 19 and when welfare investigators went to the address listed on the birth certificate, they found that she didn't live there and none of the residents said they had never heard of that person. So apparently Uncle Eddie was protecting someone. Either me for some reason or the mother. In the 1960's I am told that since abortion wasn't legal people would send there kids to have an adoption if they got pregnant and come home with no one being the wiser. The report also showed that she found the attorney in the phone book.
So I researched Uncle Eddie and he was a good man. I found some of the case law he produced was still in effect today. It was taking on Insurance companies who wronged people. He authored an article about demonstrable evidence in the court room. He was very intelligent, but I also found that he was also a judge in the 1950s in California, so he must have retired in Florida.
Well the report showed the Doctor who attended the birth and he was my doctor when I was a kid and I remember him. He died a few years ago. The person who authored the article with him also was a prominent attorney in the community and also died a year ago. So Aunt Ruth, who was my god mother, she died in 1992, so I found the attorney who did her probate. I am waiting to here back from that attorney but she died in 1992. The key I am looking for in the adoption file.
Uncle eddie did his best to keep the records from the state and I know that he had to have kept a file for me. I am hoping that aunt Ruth kept it or that the attorney who probated the case can tell me who the custodian of his files are.
So with all that said, it looks like I a going to have to sit down at the court house and try and unseal the original birth certificate. Although the name could be fake like the address . . . .Ugghhh.
So if I go to unseal the records does anyone have forms and some instructions on how to do this in Florida?
So that has been my last week. I am so frustrated that I never signed away my right to know about my past and why I am being kept from knowing my history. I am not really interested in reuniting with my mother, if I have brothers or sisters I would like to see them. I don't know . . .this whole thing is so perplexing as to why the birth mother gave the wrong address and why the statement is in the record that she found her attorney through the phone book. It sounds like what an attorney would tell a client to say.
Uncle Eddie died at 71 when I was 8 and I am sure he planned to live to my graduation and to give me the file or tell me the history. I am just kind of sad that all this time I thought the information was there if I needed it, and it isn't.
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I am so sad to read your story. How profound when you said that you never signed away your right to your history. Certainly you did not, our laws are ridiculous and backward. I wish I had some good advice for you on searching. Yours is not an easy case, and you will probably need some advice. If you even have some threads of information, it might help. I knew my birthfather's name, but didn't know where to find him (turns out he is homeless). But I did know that his father was MIA in Vietnam, and I did a search and found his father's name on a vietnam memorial website. On the website was a post from a woman who said she was his daughter (so my birthfather's sister). I was able to reach her and find out more information. My birthfather was adopted too, so I'm not related to any of his relatives, and they say that I can't meet him, but at least I can find out more than I knew before. Oh, and he has two other daughters, so someday I might be able to meet them too.Anyway, mainly I wanted to tell you how very sorry I am that after all the many losses you have suffered, no one left you with a key to finding out your heritage. I hope you will keep trying, it may take some time. There are many of us out there who know what you are going through and you are not alone.
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Wow . . .What a sad story you have. My feeling of wanting to know my history, if you have that feeling it must really frustrate you! That is a beutiful story about finding your grandfather on the wall. I can't believe that the children don't want to see you!
Don't feel sorry for me. I am determined and when I get this way I preform feats that amaze even me.
My birthother since she gave a false address and the state of florida requires that the Non ID information be given upon request, I think I am gonna open new case law!
I am thinking about arguing that my case was based upon fraud on the courts and myself. The Statutes say I have a right to those records which were never attached to my file and the welfare workers couldn't get becasue of the fake address.
So my argument is that in the case of Fraud against me, I feel I am due my medical history. The priacy afforded to her should be dismissed becasue f the fraud upon the courts and myself. If none was obtained becasue of fraud the next step is to unseal the all the court documents for me to try and find the information,
Still a work in progress, but hell it will help us all if I can argue this sucessfully.
Well I have finally opened up and spoke to my Adoptive Dad about my adoption. We were interrupted but it felt good to hear some of the things I heard. As I explained before, my God Father was the person who handled my private adoption. He was a judge for some time and my dad spoke about him which filled me with joy that is so great I can't find the words to say how happy I feel. My adoptive mom worked for him as a secretary. I asked my dad if she worked for him during the adoption. He said no but told me a story of that time. The woman who worked as his secretary had a daughter my age. The secretary was a law student but for some reason shot herself. My mom and dad, along with my god father started the paperwork to adopt her daughter. The grandparents came forward and wanted to take care of the girl so they let the grand parents adopt her. It is a tragic story but one that makes me feel good about the humanity of all the people who took care of me and loved me. My dad also told me about the story of when I was born, my God father attended the birth, they used fore sips and put a tiny bruise on my head. My Dad told me "{My God Father}, demanded other doctors in there immediately and had the whole hospital shaking." That makes me feel really loved. These are ramblings and probably mean nothing but it was something I wanted to share.
Your birth mother may not be the one who decided to give the false name. Information used to be changed all the time. It depends on who they were trying to protect! Or, she may have had good reason to hide, depending on the circumstances she was in. Not every family situation is a safe one, even today. I hope you find out the truth. Remember, women didn't have much power, so reserve judgment on her actions.
I am not really judging . . . When I was asking my adoptive father he told me that confidentiality was very important to my godfather handling the adoption. He told me they had a paper they weren't supposed to have with the information on it, but he doesn't know where it is through all these years. Since I believe my godfather was a judge at the time of my birth, I think it was probably to protect someone he knew. The birth mother was 19 at the time . .I don't know. Sometime down the road I am sure I will get slipped the right information and I can start looking.
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brett02
I am not really judging . . . When I was asking my adoptive father he told me that confidentiality was very important to my godfather handling the adoption. He told me they had a paper they weren't supposed to have with the information on it, but he doesn't know where it is through all these years. Since I believe my godfather was a judge at the time of my birth, I think it was probably to protect someone he knew. The birth mother was 19 at the time . .I don't know. Sometime down the road I am sure I will get slipped the right information and I can start looking.
I was a few years youger than you when I decided to look into my biological roots for medical history. I did manage to find bfamily in 2 short weeks but not without a ton of effort and a very nice social worker who over rode all the false names. I was searching on 2 different continents because the church and bmom were so crafty in name changes. That was very commom practice back then to falsify names. Many adoptees that have gone before us went to thier graves never knowing from whom or where they originated. That was the belief at that time that sealed records could never be opened and there would never ever be a reason for anyone to search. I will nver know who bdad is/was for this very reason. Those days they lived the lies.