Do adopted daughters get on with their adopted mothers?

It is helpful to hear that you are not alone, when you are in a situation that is painful - to know it "is not you". However, it is much easier said than done to, "not to let it rule us after a certain point". I can say over and over to myself that I do not care what my adoptive Mother says, but the truth is...I am not sure I can ever completely mean that. No matter how much anger I carry, I still want her approval and care how she treats me and what she says. I do not want to and try so hard not to. I do not want to be around her because it always ends up being so incredibly painful - but now I found out my Birth Mother will probably not be in my life (more importantly - not in my daughter's life) and I cannot remove my daughter's Grandmother from her life (she is good to my daughter) because of how she is with me. It may be very hard to be around her, but I know I will "call her out" on the spot, if she crosses any lines that are really bad, that I wouldn't have before. I agree we learn as we get older, but I still feel like a child, at times - crazy.