Getting frustrated with this girl!!

Maybe she is afraid of touching the stained panties. Can you maybe offer her some disposable gloves?

What if you have specific undies only for that time of the month? Do you know why she is throwing them away? Hydrogen peroxide will get blood stains out like a wonder. But I really think there is something more to this.

Maybe she should use some type of disposable underwear during her menstrual periods. Have you thought about maybe trying some Depends? I'm pretty sure there are cheaper alternatives, like generic brands.

Good ideas, thanks! When you say you think there's more to this problem... can you explain? Is this something I should be telling her therapist?

She's only twelve and this must all be fairly new to her. Maybe she's embarrassed? I can remember being that age and all the girls were sensitive about others knowing when they had their periods, even their own mothers. I know things have changed somewhat since those olden days, but maybe stained underpants still embarrass her and she feels more comfortable thowing them out than letting you see them.

I would say that it is possible that the counselor needs a heads up. Has she mentioned why she throws them away? Maybe the blood on her undies reminds her of something else. Maybe she just doesn't understand. Maybe there is something emotional that she isn't even aware of that is playing into it

My daughter does the same thing and I just grumble and lecture and that doesn't work. I don't care enough about it to put any energy into it, but if I did want to change her behavior, my guess is that if I gave her an amount of money and told her she could use it to buy new underwear or else she could wash out the messy ones and use the money on fun stuff, she might be motivated to wash them out. My second idea would be to have her do chores to work off the money used to replace the underwear.

Maybe you could dye her underpants a dark color so that the blood doesn't show up as easily.I would also mention it to the therapist- there may be an issue behind the behavior.My dad (who is a therapist) says that sometimes you can snuff out annoying behavior by "normalizing it." Make the behavior part of normal life and she may get bored of it. Maybe a the disposable undies will cause her to want to use and wash the regular ones? Maybe you could get her some tampons or help her make sure that the pads she's using are positioned correctly?Maybe there should be no replacement panties? Or she should have to find a thrift store that will give her new ones (yes, I do know of one in my area)?Maybe, it's as simple as her not understanding the value of money? How does she do on other money issues?

I lecture too. And grumble. I don't particularly care about stains... it's something I take care of when I do laundry and no biggie. She already gets money, so I told her this time that she will need to replace her underwear, that maybe if it takes away from her fun money, she will think twice about pitching them. I never thought about the possibility of the blood reminding her of something in her past... but that's entirely likely. I did give her therapist a heads-up, so she can address it as needed. Thank you for all the input! i really appreciate hearing everyone's thoughts.

We have not quite hit this stage yet but I'm errified for when we do. My oldest fd was sexually abused and her therapists have already begun talking to her about this so that she doesn't freak when it happens. When I read your post my first thought was why is it staining? Does she need longer pads, are tampons an option? Is she racking her cycle to know when she is going to get her period? I know at that age it can vary a lot but maybe a panty liner everyday would help. Does she think she's dirty? Perhaps only buying dark underwear. I think I would tell her I'm not buying any more. If she keeps throwing them out she is going to have to go commando. I am required to provide underwear and what she does with it is her responsibility. I'm big on explaining choices. I'm always back that kind of consequence up. I have the same rule about finding stuff on the floor. If it's on the floor and I find it I pick it up and it's mine for a week. The second time I throw it out. A

I have provided long pads, overnight pads, pads with wings, pads without wings, tampons (a whole other fiasco). Strange thing is, she won't wear the longer or overnights because "they feel funny". I have also gotten thin longs and overnights. Believe me... I have tried everything I can think of to help her. I truly think she likes the attention. Since my first post on this thread, she is now in her period again. We had just gotten to church this morning and she went out to the bathroom. Pretty soon, she came back and asked me in a dramatic whisper if I have any pads with me "cuz I am in my period and forgot to change this morning". I usually keep extras in the glove compartment of the van, so I sent her out to look. Here she comes again... no pads. Then I remember I had one extra in my purse, so I pass it to her and out she goes again. My first thought is that she's been up since 7AM--- this is 10AM--- what in the sam hill did she do all morning?? How do you go to the bathroom when you get up and NOT remember the pad? Why is it just now an emergency when she's had several hours? It's all for attention and show. She does this every single month! If it's not lost underwear, then she's calling me from school (during the summer, she'd call from the city pool "umm, my tampon fell out in the pool and I need a new one" Major YUCK factor) I would ask her "You knew you were in your period before you left the house... why didn't you prepare?" But it goes back to seeking attention. It makes everyone scurry to help her out of a bind, whether the bind is needing more underwear or extra pads. As for staining, I had tried to teach her the simple solution of moving the pad up an inch or two if she's consistently leaking over the top. She gives me the blank looks like nothing is registering. I feel like i would get further, sometimes, by explaining all this to my cats! I recently talked to her therapist who was going to address the issue. I'm not sure she ever did and now that therapist found new employment. I am so ready to see her move on. We're tired of her drama-seeking ways and manipulation. She's been here since January, so we're almost at the 1 year mark. :-/

You may need to revert to a little love and logic. Have a seat with her and explain that moving forward, she is going to responsible for remembering her own pads. Maybe get her a little hand bag to carry around with her. As far as the underwear go, warn her that you aren't going to replace them anymore. If she throws them all out, she is going to have to earn money to replace them. Maybe get her some dark underwear for her to wear during her period. She will figure out really fast that she needs to take some responsibility for herself.

Does she have a watch and a calender? I would set the watch with alarms to go off to remind her to change her pad. I would only buy black underwear..Maybe try ebay. I would help her mark the calender to get used to knowing when it is coming and ending...Also it would remind me to make sure she has extras in her backpack... I would ask her isnt it uncomfortable to feel wet? My 4 yo hates any dampness at all and will insist on new panties. She is lucky she hasnt bled thru in front of her peers that got my attention real quick as a kid. It could be worse. My bro's DD just wouldnt take care of herself..Got to the point where couches/outfits got ruined... It came down to a depression issue her parents were divorcing moving around big changes... If it is truly about attention I would make her spend hew own money on new panties... And give tons of praise when she is doing well with it.