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I sit here and hold a beautiful baby girl who is 4 weeks old today. She couldn't be more loved even if she had come from my own body. Our story starts many, many years ago, but we will start with "that day" in July. I am not sure which relative informed me that my brother and his wife had been arrested and taken to our local prison. It is much more then drug charges but that will suffice. My 4 year old niece was now in custody of another family member and discussion started as to what was gonna happen when my 7 month pregnant sister in law had the new baby. At the time I had 2 grown sons 20 & 22 on their own and 2 at home daughters 16 & 20. There is also doubt in paternity. After speaking to CYS and everyone else, it came down to either myself or foster care. A mom again at 40 was not what I expected. Well the decision was made and I went to the hospital 36 hours after she was born to get her. After much to do and red tape, I FINALLY got to hold my little piglet!!
Oh such joy she has brung to my life in 4 short weeks, and heartbreak too. the drug use for all but the last 2 months of pregnancy was apparent in the 3 weeks of screaming at night for hours, the stiff legs, the quivering jaw, the never ending thrush... Then Friday I took her to have her blood drawn and tested for Hepatitis C. Both bio parents are positive. The chance is around 25% that she will be positive. I have so much to say, I dont know where to continue. The jailhouse conversations with my brother who says the baby is fine and that taking drugs is no big deal, or that he thought it was funny I didnt sleep for weeks because piglet cried all night. Or that my sister in law seems totally fine without her newborn. I cant bear to be away from her for 5 minutes, I could never be in her shoes. I just needed to vent but now piglet needs me. I will be back. Please feel free to comment or ask questions!!!!
Thank you!!
welcome to the "relative care" family :grouphug:
She sounds wonderful.
Feel free to vent whenever you feel the need.
Whats the long term plan? legal guardianship? adoption?
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Well first thank you for your support!! My plans are to try for TPR asap. Since they will both be incarcerated for a few years if the system is working properly, I shouldnt have a problem. I cant give her back to either of them. My heart aches for her as we await the hepatitus c test results this Thursday. All I can think of is her future and am doing my best to make it the greatest one I can possibly give her. I have what is called Temporary Guardianship while Incarcerated. It gives me rights, but it ends the day her biomother leaves prison. CYS has said if we know she will be getting out to inform them and they will put her in the system with a plan to get her back. I dont trust any of it. At this point Piglet knows only me. She will only stop crying for me. She smiles for others but ony coos for me. She searches for my face when she hears my voice. I am going to be contacting an attorney in the next month to see what the best optiion is. In the end, it will probably require a move out of state, which I am ok with since the birth parents will never leave us alone if there is something to gain such as food stamp money, cash assistance, etc...
Oh there is so much to the story that I could sit here for hours. It just makes me sick!!!!!
Sounds like piglet is right where she needs to be and has a wonderful family.
I'm suprised there is no formal plan in place other than you notifying CYS if biomom leaves prison. I would think that they would have piglet in the system and go through the process of giving biomom a plan. I had a ffs whose mother is still in prison and likely will have her rights terminated based on abandonment - I'm wondering if this would be appropriate in piglet's case.