So what do you do when you are contacted?

You do a mtdna test which is the part of your dna passed down from mother to child. You can do it cheaply and it will confirm or deny the relationship. You should be able to find a company that will send each of you a kit and then provide you both with the results either via mail or a passworded website report. You can also ask if they will contact the other party for their address to send the kit to give them some added privacy until it is confirmed. Just google dna testing companies ontario and check them out. You are looking for the maternal testing. Kind regards,Dickons

That's very helpful, thank you so much, that's exactly what I'll do! She just contacted me today and asked me to provide some information about myself so I think I will give it a little time before I suggest it to her. I got so nervous/excited that I responded very quickly without actually giving her any information but simply assuring her that this isn't a hoax. I can only imagine what a huge shock this must be for her. Even if I'm not her birth relative, it must be a lot to process when you think you may have finally found someone from your birth family. I have to keep reminding myself one step at a time and it has to go at her pace... :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :woohoo:

Send her an email letting her know that it would be good to do a dna test so you both have peace of mind that it isn't a hoax. Tell her you need to do a bit of research and will then send her a link to the lab you choose. Call their customer service number and talk and ask questions. Seeing as you initiated the search I would suggest you offer to pay. She may offer to split the cost or she might not. The US costs somewhere around $100 but can go up for more indepth tests - not sure but believe the maternity test should be one of the simpler tests. I would assume the Cdn test would be around the same cost. It really isn't that much when you think about the peace of mind on both sides. Get ready for waves of emotions. Take care,Dickons

I didn't sleep very much last night. I'm not sure how to feel. 32 years without knowing someone exists... I'm happy but nervous. The question "what if it isn't her?" keeps coming to mind. I keep reminding myself of the DNA. I don't want to overwhelm her either with to many emails. She hasn't responded to the one I sent her yesterday but I know I gave her a lot to think about. She had asked me to give more information about myself, but I didn't know what to say and at the same time I don't want to give to much in case this is a hoax. But one question did come to mind, do people really do that? Do they pretend to be the lost birth relative you are looking for? I want to be cautious but I don't want to be ridiculous either. Maybe I should've given some information about myself...I hope she responds... $100 really isn't much at all when you're investing in peace of mind and if you don't mind I'd like to use your wording. :coffee:

I've done a lot of searching on the internet and the maternity test requires the mother and is around $300 to $600 to do. The test for sibling DNA can only determine a likely hood of the relationship between the two persons... Honestly, I can't afford that. :( I'm so discouraged right now.

Woke up at 12am and again at 2 am...I wonder when that will "calm down". We chatted a little yesterday, well she responded to 2 of my emails. She confirmed her Mother's name and she confirmed her date of birth. I have offered her to ask me any question she might have, or ask me anything she might want to know, but those emails she won't respond to. I've decided that I'm going to give her some time today and see if she will initiate. I was talking to an adopotion counsellor who said it's important to show that I am present and won't leave her. So I'm thinking of just sending a little "have a nice evening email" if I don't hear from her today. I have a million questions I want to ask her...I hope she has a million questions she wants to ask me.