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I found my birth parents 30 years ago and had minimal contact with both of them. In the last 8 years my birth mother and I have become very close - emailing at first, and now(within the last year) texting as well! In March, her husband and she traveled through Oklahoma and 3 of my 4 daughters and I were able to meet up with them. It was wonderful! Then in May, my birth father passed away and I was able to attend his funeral. I was reunited with my 2 half sisters (on his side- I had not seen them in over 25 years) and met my 5 nieces and nephews. I am not sure how they took all of this. Afterwards I went and stayed at my birth mother's home. The next day I was reunited with 2 of my 3 half sisters (from my mother) and their children. It had been over 25 years since I had seen them as well. They were wonderful and accepted me with open arms. I didn't know that my one sister had told her children (ages 4 - 14) and wondered why they were so excited to meet me! I was the special guest! It has been wonderful. My youngest daughter got married in October of this year. My birth mother, sister and niece came to the wedding shower. I introduced her to my friends (most of them knew she was coming). Afterwards she asked if it would be ok to come to the wedding, but she wanted me to check w/ my A-mom first. My A-parents knew that I was in contact with her (which helped). I got my nreve up and called my mom one afternoon and asked her, "If you would ever have a chance to meet my birth mother, would you be willing to?" She only hesitated a moment and said, "It would be the most wonderful thing ever!" I was actually surprised! She told me she had wanted to for years, but with her and daddy's failing health she didn't think it would ever happen. She has severe kidney problems and my dad had 4 bypasses last year. So the wedding came and at the reception, my A-mom went up and introduced herself to my B-mother and they hit it off wonderfully! My B-mom then introduced her, her husband and daughter to our good friends from Kansas that came to the wedding. (My parents live in Kansas - so does my B-mother but on opposite ends). At the end of the reception I saw them folding tableclothes together and talking like old friends. My dad enjoyed visiting with her and her husband and my sister as well. I only have good things to say! My A-mom is sending my B-mom a box of pictures of me. My b-mom was 17 when I was born and is now 68. My a-parents are 83 and they were 32 when they received me. I could go on and on with this story. I was born on my birth fathers bday. His former wife and I have the same first name (as does their oldest daugher.) His oldest daughter has the same bday as my A-dad! My b-mother's anniversary is 10 days before mine and she has been married 10 years longer than me. My kids call my a-mom Grandma Dodee, and my b-mom has an Aunt who they call Aunt Dodee. (Who I have met as well). I would love to share more with anyone who would like to contact me.
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I really liked reading your story. It sounds a bit like mine. I was reunited with my birth family almost 8 years ago. We have developed a relationship, which has been intense, fascinating, satisfying, difficult ... EVERYTHING! For my thesis exhibition for my Masters (I'm a video artist) in 2008, I decided to invite my Bparents to attend in addition to my Afamily (which included my grandmother as well as my parents and Abrother). And that is how everyone met. I was a little worried - especially about my Abrother. He was adopted too, but has no desire to find his biological family. It was funny, all of us posed for a picture in front of my art and because my Abrother had arrived a bit late (long drive) he hadn't officially met my Bparents. He said after that he was very confused about why these other people we in the picture with us! Hehehe. Everyone talked and shared stories. My Amother and Bfather still keep contact - sometimes emails. Everyone is very supportive of everything. I have been very lucky and am eternally grateful. Everyone is making an effort to figure out where each of us fit in this "new" family.
It put a smile on my face to read your story and know that you too are going through the same familial negotiation that I am going through - and have also been very lucky that people also want to make it work.
Would be great to continue this conversation.
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Please do keep in touch! It is so thrilling to have another person who UNDERSTANDS what you have gone through all your life. Adoption is a wonderful thing, but to us who ARE the adopted child - no one understands our thoughts, fears, wishes and so forth. 3 of my 4 girls are very understanding and loved meeting my bmother. My oldest (who is a mother of 2 boys) had a hard time understanding my feelings and felt I was being unfair to my aparents. She is doing better now. We have chose not to tell her boys about my bmother and extended family until my aparents are deceased. We feel it would be too confusing for them. Please feel free to contact me ANYTIME! My personal email is slstasser@aol.com