Advertisements
I have not posted here lately but when I was preparing for a reunion with my son in 2009, this forum was amazing. It reallywould be nice to learn the dos and don't before embarking on a reunion.
My Reuion with my son was very rough and there were times I thought about walking away.We had our first fight on his birth day and he did not talk to me for three months. I promised my self that I would love him uncondiitonally and that I would find a way to open up the communication. I have realised that some things are not worth the fight and that my relationship with him very important. I have worked hard to maintain a good relationship with my son.He invited us for Thanks giving and we had awonderful time, and I don't cry a smuch as I used to. Initially he did not want to tell his Adopted parents that he found me but over the holidays he told them. I have not met them but I hear his Amother was jumping up for joy.
I call my son every Sat and we have finaly got to a point where things are normal.It ws not an easy road to get where we are but it was worth it.We still have a long way to go and I am happy that he finally told his parents about me. My youngest son is very close to him and the sister has finally warmed up. I have along way to go but his wife is acting a bit normal around me.
I fyoua re ina reunion hang inthere when it gets rough. Remember most of us birth parents are reuniting with an adult, its no longer that small infant. I took me me for ever to realise that and the most painful part was that
I was a strnager to him. The day he told me he loved me I almost fainted and when he called me mom- well I was in heaven. The main thing is if you reunion don't have expectations and demands. Its crucial to tell the truth and apologise for how things turned out. I love my son and he was stollen from me and I am happy to be in his life.'Reunions are thorny roads that must be traveeled with care but if you can manuver your way through it, the rewarding.
No situations are the same so don't be discourgaed about some bad reunions. I think its good to search because its good to know where you came from.
Like
Share
Advertisements
Its not easy you are so right it took lots of work and tears. I stayed in contact through emails and he would not answer but I kept emailling. I am not sure how we got here but it was not easy. I did most of the work to prove to him that I had never rejected him and it was fraudulant adoption. His amother just told him that she tried to find me when he was young and knew that there was something fishy about the adoption paper work.. The gaps without communicaiton drove me crazy but I am at peace now because I know I talk to him every Sat-the day he was born. If he does not pick up the phone I leave a message and he calls back. I workedv ery hard and love him unconditional- and it ws not easy some times when he ignored me. Now he will sends a text or short email or call .The first year was the best and worst time of my life. If he doe s no answer my email I threaten him with sendingthe emails he calls essays.
Now I am preparing to meet the parents and I was so excited to meet them a year ago but he shot that down. I am not as excited to meet them as I was beofre. My feelings were hurt when I asked to meet them a year ago and he said they might not want to meet me.. So what changed?. I am not sure with the A parents knowing if this will complicate our relationship .
Reunion are not easy but they can work.
I'm sure it's not easy for the adoptive parents either. They also need time to adjust, time to be assured that the new relationship isn't a threat. Even if they should know, they have conflicting feelings and insecurities, just like any other person. All these new feelings on all sides are an opportunity for growth, which is a process.