Anyone pleased or satisified with their adoption?

That is pretty sick. Btw Susie, have you read this: [url]http://www.nzjh.auckland.ac.nz/docs/1989/NZJH_23_1_06.pdf[/url] The agency mentioned is my bmom's agency. The scene in Auckland was different to the rest of NZ in that all adoptions were private unlike the rest of the country. Also, did you know that NZ had the highest rate of adoption of any country in the world back in the 50s/60s?

I also had (have) great aparents and a wonderful childhood. Absolutely NO complaints! My problems with adoption have nothing to do with my family, or with my adoption, but the practice itself. (I think my afamily agrees, but since they aren't here to defend that statement, take it for what it's worth) So, am I happy with what happened after I was adopted, YES! I'm not necessarily happy that I had to be in the first place.

I feel the same. Btw, KJ, I think you wll find also that quite a lot of people feel similarly, i.e. they are happy enough about their actual "adoption" - i.e. they are happy with what happened after they were adopted but would rather they hadn't had to be adopted in the first place. This thread I started sums up how I feel about being adopted: [url]http://forums.adoption.com/adoptee-support/395265-my-future-multifaceted-answer-you-happy-about-being-adopted-question.html[/url] One thing I've found on here is that it is hard to say some things without them being misunderstood.

I am COMPLETELY happy with my adoption. I am sure there are parts to it that if I knew more about, I might think unfortunate now-such as what led my biomother to the situation in the first place. But, my family is incredible, loving, and always treated my sister (bio to my parents) and I completely the same- but always mentioned how I was chosen when little sis got mean with me :) On a similar note, my husband is completely happy with his situation (being adopted as an infant, as well), even though his childhood is what I would have called terrible. He has no interest in learning more about his background, yet I do due to some medical things I am going through now. Maybe some of it is also the curiosity differences between men and women? We are both so positive about adoption and what it means to us and our families that we adopted our own girls a couple years ago. I love talking about it to educate others, answer questions, make it less "taboo" to talk about. I feel very strongly about some adoption reform in our time due to the fraud we went through prior to the adoption of our twins and other things we have learned about the treatment of people on all sides of the triad. So, yes- I could not imagine a family I fit in and am part of better than mine now- the good, the bad, and the crazy! Very happy adoptee here :)

I am very HAPPY with my adoption! I have awesome Aparents and I did meet my Bmom when I was 22. I went into the search with 100% support from my Aparents. I am very blessed to have such a great family! I wish I had more medical information!

I personally feel that adoption etc is a very complicated thing and full of paradoxes, especially since meeting first family. I am not ashamed to say that my adoption experience has been both positive and negative - quite often things can be negative and positive at the same time - no wonder it gets confusing lol. One thing I have found is that strangely I am far more content now than I was before even though I was actually quite content before. I have discovered a lot about myself as well as my bfamily and my relationship with afamily is just as good as before.

I agree with what you wrote in my case too Caths. I had to point this out LOL I find it interesting, even "funny" that we seem to feel the need to use disclaimers when we point out the negative OR when we point out the positive. I really don't feel comfortable just pointing out one on it's own! Because it is not the full story I guess. It took all I had not to mention any negative in my first post LOL Although my second to last line does sound like I was in an arguement of some kind with someone, probably myself. I have this need to go back and add the full story! I am going to try and leave it at that tho, even tho I feel like I am not being completely truthful. It's a bit annoying! So I do have to say LOL that what I wrote before is just one piece of the paradoxial puzzle. (is that even a word? paradoxial? :rolleyes: )

And then there are the disclaimers to explain the disclaimers lol. All I can say about the adoption paradoxes is that sometimes when I'm trying to explain those paradoxical feelings, it can be like walking a tightrope whilst juggling blindfolded in the middle of a tornado wearing a straightjacket lol.

LOL practice, practice, practice! They say if you spend 10,000 hours on something you will master it. I have faith in you! My guys have proven that. Some days I almost wish I had never told them that one! Not sure if I can take much more juggling, guitars, drums, chemistry, sports, etc... Even tho my son is getting a full ride to an awesome college that I thought was way way out of our reach - mostly due to putting in 10,000 hours at his sport :happydance: :cheer:

I only have 5,000 hours to go then lol. You know, posting on another thread has helped to be able to clarify a positive and negative with offending anyone - I hope lol. My thing is this. Adoptive families are great resources. I have never had a problem with adoptive families per se - hey, I grew up in one lol. However, my concern is when this resource is used as a safety net, as governments can often decide that extra resources aren't needed because the safety net of adoption is there to stop any children "falling through the cracks". In some modern societies, it isn't even always the poorest that are vulnerable - the "working poor" are often the ones that end up having no resources given to them - so they can sometimes be even poorer than those who aren't working. Of course, it is far more complicated that just that but that is just one aspect. So that can be part of the confusion. Sometimes a positive thing can be used in a way it wasn't really intended and people then express concern about that fact and then people think that in fact the positive thing is being attacked and think those people expressing concern hate the positive thing. Hope that makes sense lol. Anyway, that is my point of view, I don't expect anyone to agree with me but just wanted to make it clear that I do NOT hate the "positive thing" and never have. My adoptive family are a positive part of my adoption and I will never say anything against them but it is all rather more complex than that - I am not even thinking of personal situation here, I am talking about in general. It is quite possible that what I've just said makes no sense whatsoever lol.

I only have 5,000 hours to go then lol. You know, posting on another thread has helped to be able to clarify a positive and negative without offending anyone - I hope lol. My thing is this. Adoptive families are great resources. I have never had a problem with adoptive families per se - hey, I grew up in one lol. However, my concern is when this resource is used as a safety net, as governments can often decide that extra resources aren't needed because the safety net of adoption is there to stop any children "falling through the cracks". In some modern societies, it isn't even always the poorest that are vulnerable - the "working poor" are often the ones that end up having no resources given to them - so they can sometimes be even poorer than those who aren't working. Of course, it is far more complicated that just that but that is just one aspect. So that can be part of the confusion. Sometimes a positive thing can be used in a way it wasn't really intended and people then express concern about that fact and then people think that in fact the positive thing is being attacked and think those people expressing concern hate the positive thing. Hope that makes sense lol. Anyway, that is my point of view, I don't expect anyone to agree with me but just wanted to make it clear that I do NOT hate the "positive thing" and never have. My adoptive family are a positive part of my adoption and I will never say anything against them but it is all rather more complex than that - I am not even thinking of personal situation here, I am talking about in general. It is quite possible that what I've just said makes no sense whatsoever lol. So, in summary, I am more than happy to say positive things about my adoptive family as I feel that is what the OP is asking :) The rest is rather more complicated lol.

I was the luckiest kid to be adopted. I had the best childhood, and I even got a pony when I was 9.

This is beautiful!

Hi All - as a mom who just recently adopted twin boys - and considering 2 more - i am happy to hear that there are some people who have had good adoptions! I worry about my babies every night- They are only 2 - if they will be happy boys - and i hope that i am able to give them everything the need both materialiscitally and through family love. We love them like there is no tomorrow - and are so far - even at their school - the happiest babies there! So this helps to lessen my momma thoughts - that people are pleased with there their adoption - and not everyone grew up in a dark unloved cave! Thanks honeys!!!

I had lots or love, was never abused and had a good childhood. I love my parents very much. I think the question should be did you have a good Afamily. If you ask about the institution of adoption itself the lies, the shame and the stigma still remain. When everyone can be free to get a passport and know who they are if they want to, the stigma will fade. People who fight this right think they are doing Aparents and Bmoms a favor when in fact it continues to fuel the lies and shame for the whole triad.Modern record laws are changing and adoptions are increasingly open. There is a reason for this. If I could have had Bfamily contact growning up and known who I was I would have been more emotionally healthy and the lonliness and loss would have been lessened.Even in the best of homes children face loss. Every adoption is different. The key is to keep an open dialogue with everyone involved.