VTWisher

I totally had to agree. I wasn't about to be an unsupportive birth Mom, but the idea that the birth Mother is top priority to an agency during reunion? That's just not a narrative I'm very familiar with....I thought this thread was a bit off when I read it earlier as well. Glad I'm not the only one!

I agree. Even if someone from the agency said it, they would not have said it over and over. She also keeps saying things that don't make sense, like that he is going behind her back and talking to them, yet she is seeing them talk on FB that's not behind her back. At 25 I think he can talk to whomever he likes and it's not really something he has to ask his parents permission about. She says she would have been supportive and then on the other hand says that she cant accept it. It also doesn't sound normal for him to ask them the name of the agency if he had already contacted her, unless it was a test to see how they would react to his asking, if that's the case they failed. If her story is true, then I think she is a little nuts and a little over possessive, if it wasn't the birth family she would be jealous about his girlfriend or whatever.

Weird. That is the first word that comes to mind when I read this post. She also seemed to write an entire book, and received several 'books' in reply. She really put everything out there for a first-ever post. I don't know many who would do that. Something is definitely off here. I half-way smell a troll.

half way Lynda? You have a stuffed up troll nose?;) Glad to see it's not just me then. The whole agency line of b.s. sounds like something Sbaglio and his cohorts would say, kwim?

Very true.... It just doesn't add up....but if it IS an adoptive parent that's trolling, they are just doing themselves a disservice, cause it makes them look all kinds of crazy and possessive! That's the thing that throws me about "troll"....if you wanted it to be about the mean agency and the overbearing birth parents only, I'd think you'd have your role in it be more perfect. "I'm totally supportive and have tried to reach out and do x, y, and z." I don't know. One thing's for sure though - something is DEFINITELY off!

what? we aren't perfect in every possible way???? OMG! I didn't get the "Aparents Not Perfect" memo!!!! :p Hadn't thought about it that way, but true that. (making themselves look perfect etc.) I dunno, so guess we watch and see.

I mean, on the flip side, if I were a troll trying to bash my kids aparents or say that the agency was all against me, I wouldn't say, "However, I do drive by their house and I'm having a horrible time adjusting." Probably wouldn't help my troll-case!So if this person is legit.....wow!I still would have a VERY hard time beleiving the bit about the agency....if anything I might buy that she heard what she wanted to hear or what fit her expectations at the pity party, but I won't buy that they repeatedly told her she doesn't matter and that birth Mom is top priorty. Adoptee top priority? Sure (As it should be!!!!!) But this? Nah, something's off.I think what most confuses me is that people VERY rarely open up with everything they've done wrong - and she seems to be open to sharing the unpleasants along the way. So she either doesn't think it's wrong at all or is a troll having some fun.

I am wondering if she is real, but just way over possisive, I have met a few parents like that. (I met one who planned to move out of state and leave her husband to live in her daughters college town!) In which case the son probably volunteered to go overseas so she would not follow and in that case I wonder if she called the agency asking them to forbid the contact between the birth family and her son and they told her - repeatedly- that since he is over 21 it is between him and the birth family and that they have the right to have contact if they both want it. Which she chose to hear as, they care about the birth family and the child more than the adoptive parents, since they were not meeting her demands or seeing her side. Either way, very sad. If she's for real, I feel for the poor kid. I also feel for any girl he marries because this mom will hate that girl and resent any time he spends with her.

LOL. Come to think of it, I have been a bit stuffy lately (nasal wise - ;) )