Host families in Russia

Some agencies do arrange for prospective parents to stay with host families. It doesn't necessarily save them much money, however. The most expensive part of a Russian adoption is the travel. Nowadays, you must make from 2-4 trips, depending on the region. If both parents travel -- and they will have to do so for at least some of the trips -- they could wind up spending quite a lot, depending on the time of year, especially given that they may have to travel without much notice. Do remember that the host families' accommodations may not be very modern or convenient, and there may be more people in the home than you would normally have for a given number of rooms. You will have little privacy, which is important when bonding with a new child. The family may have some distinct notions about parenting and may try to "take over" your role or tell you how to do things. You may worry about disturbing them, when your new child cries all night from grief and shock. Talk to agencies that you are considering, to see if they offer the option of staying with a host family, and ask for an estimate of the savings, for families that choose this option. Also, begin looking up airfares at different times of the year. Also, be aware that some agencies place you in apartments, not hotels. These apartments may be good for some travelers, as they come equipped with kitchens, laundry facilities, etc. If you are traveling with your existing children and don't want to blow the budget eating in restaurants or using hotel laundry facilities, these may be a perfect way to meet your needs. Sharon

Thanks Sharon! I guess I didn't realize when in country that adoptive parents are allowed to take the child out of the "orphanage" setting, so didn't think about the night time disturbances. When we travel we always stay in apartments and condos since I have very specific dietary requirements. Eating out is tough for me. I like the apartment suggestion. That will probably be the best solution for us. Thanks very much!

Russia won't let you take the child to your hotel/apartment/host family's home until after court, when you are officially the parents, in most cases. You can simply visit your child in the orphanage for a few hours a day, under fairly controlled conditions. However, there has been a ten day bonding period in effect, after court, before Russia allows you to leave your child's city and head for Moscow, to go to the U.S. Embassy and get the child's visa, although it was occasionally waived. You will have your child with you at that time. And now, there's talk of it being increased to 30 working days or about six weeks. During this period, you would have your child with you. And once you go to Moscow, depending on when you arrive and so on, you may spend a few days there with your child, before heading home. Every country is different, of course. When Guatemala was open, it was common for families to go to Guatemala to meet and get to know their children, before the adoption process was complete. They were generally allowed to have the child in their hotel room, even if the child was not yet officially adopted. China, on the other hand, does not allow any contact between the child and the adoptive family prior to the day that he/she is placed into the parents' arms and they go to finalization; this is basically China's longstanding interpretation of Hague Convention requirements But once the finalization occurs, the families generally have to stay in the child's province for a week or so, awaiting the provincial government's preparation of the child's birth certificate, adoption decree, abandonment decree, and Chinese passport. The families have their children with them during that wait. Then, they usually spend a couple of days in Guangzhou, dealing with the visa photos, the visa medical, the I-600 and other documents, and the Consular appointment, and are with their children at that point, too. I adopted my daughter from China, and frankly, I was glad to be in a luxury hotel in both her birth city and Guangzhou, where Americans get their children's visas. My daughter and I were both sick, and it was nice to have someone else do the cleaning, make the beds, do the laundry, etc. It was also nice to have room service and good dining rooms. I was able to spend 24/7 bonding with my daughter and dealing with our "bugs". Parenting in a hotel is not fun, but in my book, it would definitely beat parenting in some family's apartment. Nowadays, China does have some apartment hotels that are used by families who don't want a regular hotel and do want access to washers and dryers, etc. Do remember that an adoption trip is very different from a backpacking trip. Your first priority must be the care of your child. While you should certainly soak up as much of his/her culture as possible, so that you can help him/her, later on, develop a positive image of the country in which he/she was born, you really should not try "roughing it." Parenting a child is grueling enough, when he/she is sick, grieving, angry, etc. at this bizarre change in his/her life. Sharon

Your explanation clears up a lot. I definitely appreciate you taking the time to elaborate!Definitely not looking at this like backpacking, as those days were over more than 20 years ago. These days we stay in vacation rental condos and apartments like I mentioned, and thanks to your suggestions I may look at an apartment as our first option, possibly even checking into a 3-4 month sublease to try to stay in country since I can do my job from anywhere, depending on whether the Russian visitor visa will allow that long of a stay. Thanks very much, again, for all the information!Cheers,ippichic

Some agencies insist on making arrangments for you, since they use certain guide/translators and want the arrangements to be convenient for them, as well as you, and also want to be sure that all of the regional and national adoption rules are followed. Be sure, when you are agency shopping, that you let them know that you want to make your own arrangements. Also, not all agencies work in all regions. If you are drawn to a certain Russian region, you will have to go with an agency that has a good track record in placing children from that region. Sharon