First Placement...

How exciting!!! I would tell you to expect the unexpected. The first few weeks are busy with appointments from CW, DYFS nurses, check evals, etc. You may want to set up a WIC appointment for formula coupons. As far as you go, there may be some anxiety from the drastic change in your lifestyle. I know I get "new placement blues" with each placement. But, the kids made it worth it!!! Let us know how it goes.

Thank you so much! We're actually still waiting, Baby Boy was kept at the hospital a while longer so we'll hear next week exactly what's going to happen. I get incredibly anxious with all this waiting, but when the calls come I get nervous, not really knowing what to expect so I TRULY appreciate your response!

You could use the delay in his arrival to make/freeze some meals and get some good rest before the baby comes. Let us know what happens. Good luck.

I havent taken a new placement in over 2 years. I have been contemplating closing my home, but keep it open just in case my adopted daughter's birth mother has another baby and needs placement. But just reading your post filled with anticipation and excitement actually made me *miss* those moments!! I swear the worst part of taking new placements is the waiting time from the phone call till the arrival of the child!! Do keep us posted with how things go. And good luck!! What county are you in???

Thanks, Irelady, and yes, we're trying to use time wisely...instead of just waiting anxiously;)And NJMama, we are in Burlington County...yes, the between-phone-calls moments are the worst!! I never imagined I could be so impatient! I'll be sure and post and update when I hear from the facilitator...

What happened?

Ugh...I was trying to hold out as long as possible, but we haven't received a phone call so I'm assuming that's their way of saying "Thanks, but the child doesn't need placement right now." This is the third time in a row! We get a phone call asking us if we'll take a placement and then I have to call to find out why they didn't call me back...Oh well; here's to more waiting...

Did they ever call again?

Nope. I called our resource worker and got her voice mail. I guess it wasn't meant to be, but I am a detail-oriented planner by nature, so all of this uncertainty and not knowing details is extremely difficult for me...guess DYFS will help teach me patience and spontaneity.

Hello ladies, I am new on here and looking for some advice. Last Wed we received a healthy baby boy 6 days old from the hospital, he was taken from his birth mother due to mental and past criminal reasons. she also lost custody and all rights on her 3 yr old son who is being adopted by a foster family just two towns away from me. The very next day I get a call from DYFS and they tell me a judge ordered the baby to be removed from my home and placed in another foster home due to the fact the birth mother complained we lived to far for her to travel for her visits. We are shattered and broken over this decision. we tried to stop this move and offered to transport the baby to her on visit days. We've hit brick walls everywhere we turn. DYFS claims this never happened before and can't give me answers. I've contacted our politicians and have letters from family and friends on our behalf asking the judge to reconsider. I just don't understand if the only issue is visitation then why can't we drive him to her area for visits??? Very heartbroken and crushed right now, can't sleep or eat and am scared I will never see him again. We obviously are planning on adopting him when they terminate her rights to this child. anyone have any similar situation???? I'm so Scared.:hissy:

Hi Pebbles - welcome to the boards. Are you in NJ? Just curious because this is the NJ board and as far as I know, most visitations in NJ are at a neutral place (DYFS office or visitation center) at least at first. So where you personally live is less relevant than how far the mom has to travel to get to where visitation is taking place. I'm not sure how to say the rest of this without sounding snarky - I don't mean it that way - but I don't know if it's the best idea in the world to get politicians and others involved with a placement you had for less than 24 hours. It might get you blackballed for future placements. (Sorry - I just re-read your post - is the baby still with you? If so, that's a bit different - you should reach out to the baby's GAL asap. If baby's gone, the rest of what I typed below applies....) And be really careful about saying you're planning to adopt an infant in foster care. It's foster care - and the goal is ALWAYS reunification with bio parents regardless of what anyone tells you. Until the child is legally free (rights have been terminated by the courts), you should take the position that you support RU . . . it's what fostercare is all about. As others on here will tell you, you don't have to really believe RU is for the best but you have to say that out loud as a foster parent until it's clear that RU is never going to happen. If your former foster baby was having visitation with the bio mother, rights have not yet been terminated and you can't really "plan" to adopt (yet) - at least not out loud. I'm sorry this happened to you and good luck with future placements!!

Yes I am in NJ Camden County and we were told by DYFS at placement that this case was going to be fast tracked for termination of rights due to her situation. We are foster to adopt only we do not foster. They only call us in cases they think adoption will be the final outcome. This case I can assure you the mother will never ever get custody of her children. PERIOD I am not comfortable putting the reasons on here although it is public knowledge. As far as the visits go we thought DYFS did all the transporting no matter where you lived, I agree where I live should not matter, DYFS does not recognize counties, they are state wide, but they do everything they can to keep baby close to mom. In our case, there are 2 counties involved, Camden and Monmouth the case is tied to both due to the mom lives in a motel and that is not a residence so they use her last address and her other son is in Cam. Co. as well. As far as the politicians we are only asking for help in asking the judge to reconsider placing baby back in my home because we will be adopting him so why bounce back and forth between foster homes when we are a foster to adopt home?? I was told today that the judge will not reconsider so there is nothing else I can do. I also spoke with a guy who has fostered and adopted with DYFS for over 20yrs and he has transported a child to his mothers county for visits because DYFS wouldn't do it, just so he could keep the child in his home. I guess it all comes down to the judge. Thanks for listening. Oh, I was in contact with law guardian and he said there is nothing he can do! He really could not speak to me about the case but did call me back to tell me I didn't have a shot!

Hugs! That is the way it goes with placements, sometimes. Foster parents have no legal rights. If you don't want to go through this again, then do not accept another placement unless the parental rights have already been terminated.You need to grieve and move on. But I do send you hugs.

So sorry it didn't go through. I know the waiting is frustrating and then when the placement falls through it feels worse!My advice to you is this...Don't instinctly trust what the case worker tells you. Based on our two placements, we've had to ask several people why the FC was removed before we heard the same story twice!Don't trust a case worker who tells you when the child will go back to his/her BP's because they don't know. A CW might mean well but it's up to the judge when the child goes back and just because the CW thinks it doesn't mean the judge will! Our second placement was in November and CW told us she'd only be with us 2-3 weeks. She's still with us after 12 weeks!Don't let DYFS walk all over you! I have found that many times they tell me what I want to hear and not necessarily the truth.Document, document, document!!! We have had several instances where our first FC came back from 2 hr visits and never had his diaper changed, visits where the mother fed him cake (he's 9 mos old), which gave him diarrhea and his father used to feed him adult yogurt which he would throw up. If things like this happen, tell the person who picks him/her up for the visit so they can stop it.If you are getting a baby, be prepared to be told over and over and over and over again NOT to put the baby on their stomach to sleep! Trust me, you will get tired of seeing and hearing it!As hard as it is for me to accept, remember you have no legal rights with your FC! There are days I cry and cry because I feel like I am the only one who truly cares for my FC especially after being in a court hearing. Their needs are secondary. It's BP's first, FC second in the court system!