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Has anyone ever fostered a teenager when you have had teenage children of you own?
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Yes, two teen girls (separate occassions). Both ended up moving, one to her aunts home and the other went to her grandmother's. We have three bio teen boys, but gender didn't end up being an issue, it was their personalities lol!
Both situations weren't ideal and I would probably not do it again unless I had no choice. One girl was in my son's grade & class (gr. 9) and they HATED each other so it was a happy day for all when she finally transitioned to her aunt's place (for her too!). She was a perennial victim and he was a **ahem** jerk so the relationship was doomed from the start. Loved them both, couldn't live with them both under the same roof :P
The second girl was our FS's sister and it went downhill round about grade 10 when she started to emulate her bio-families lifestyle and took to it like a duck to water. It was really rocky for the first few months after she left, but we now get along splendidly with her coming over several times a month, in addition to her bi-weekly visits with her brother. She stayed with us over Christmas and will stay for Easter too.
Her home life at Grams is pretty bad, but she likes the area her Gram lives in (for various reasons) and can't stand our "boring" life. We muddle along though lol!
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We do! We have fostered 3 other teen girls all the same age as our own 14 yr old DD. The first one moved to relatives, the second one, we're adopting and the 3rd one was sent back home(:mad: ). We love our teens. If I had room, I'd take more, but we only have one bedroom for teens and one for our 4 yr old DD and I don't want to take little kids any more.
Funny thing sis, that on paper, 2 of our foster teens looked like real trouble, but we never ad one bit of trouble with them. They were respectful, did well ins chool and followed the rules. As with any teens, therewere the usual times when they didn't want to do something or were out of sorts, but no different from our own teen. All of our kids get along great. We've been told by our agency it's the way we relate to the teens and how we guide, talk and help them, rather than being a drill sargaent. We give them respect and trust which they can keep or lose.
We fostered then adopted our sibling group of four, the oldest was 14 when she came to live with us. My DD was also 14. Although one of the boys has serious medical issues and the other boy had serious psych issues, it was putting the two 14 yr old girls together that worried me the most. The girls are very different in personality as well. The first two years they shared a room, now they don't. Neither was used to having to share a room. That part was pretty rough on them. But they learned to love and respect each other very much actually. The having to be close I think actually helped them both in learning to deal with one another and in caring about one another, even while they were aggravating one another. I think something that helped was the fact my AD was a year behind in school, which meant she not only is not in the same grade as my DD, but started out in middle school when DD was already at the high school. So she was forming separate friends, and had her own place to be away from her new sister. They are 17 now, and are pretty close. They remain very different in personality, but they will stick up for one another in a heartbeat. They are also very watchful about anything done for one of them by me or husband that might in their eyes be showing favoritism.