help :(

I know how you are feeling, people just dont think before they open their mouth. But your Amum is your mum as she has brought you up, and she loves you, as you said she would lie down her life for you, thats what happens when someone loves you. Yes you are angry and upset, and I do understand how you are feeling, Im an adoptee too, and have been through alot of emotions about being odopted, but you need to talk this through with someone if not your Amum then someone else. I don't know your age, but could you talk to your doctor and tell him how you feel. This is what I did and it helped alot also being on this site, with people that understand you and your emotions, because they either are going through the same as you or have gone through. Take care

I was adopted at birth, never knew my birth parents until a few years ago. Well, I guess technically I don't "know" them yet, but that's another thread. To answer your question, yes people do understand how you feel and many of them are right here on this site. It's been my experience that people will say a lot of different things when they have no frame of reference for an adoption. There's a thread on this site about "10 Things Adoptees Hate to Hear" and if you haven't read it I encourage you to do so. There are many of us out there who hear comments similar to the ones you listed and sometimes worse. As I and many others on this site have chosen to look at it over the years, we are the special ones. We get to have two moms whereas everyone else only gets one! It's all in how you look at it and choose to react to it, or in how you don't. Your a-mom is your family. Your b-mom is your family. The difference is that one is related to you genetically, and the other has taken you in, raised you, and would "lay down her own life" for you. That does not mean that your b-mom loved you any less. I believe that there are many reasons why a parent gives a child up for adoption, but a lot of those choices are made in the best interests of the child and at the considerable pain and cost to the parent. Hold it in your heart that you're among the fortunate ones to have two moms who both love you as they do. People who make hurtful comments have no idea what they're saying. Best, PADJ