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We adopted our grandchild and have had him since birth. He calls us "mom and dad". His birthmom is our daughter but she does not have regular contact with child. When she does make contact, she refers to herself as "mommy".
Our questions is, how to address his family dynamics when he is older. We think saying something like " this is you with your first mommy when we were your grandparents". and then saying something like "this is you with us after we adopted you and we became your mommy and daddy".
Maybe explaining his birthmom is still in his family because she is our daughter, just like he is our son.
Does that make sense? Is there a better way to say it? We have pics with child/birthmom and child/us right from the day he was born. We are starting to create a photo album of his birth story for him.
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We adopted our nephew (have had him since he was 10 weeks old). He is only 2yo now so we haven't had to deal with this yet. However, I made him a photo book with pictures of his birthmom (my sister in law) and captions explaining that she asked us to be his Mommy and Daddy. Then later there is another picture of him and birthmom when the adoption was final (he is 11months) and a caption saying, "here you are with Auntie X". We read this book as a story every few weeks...he loves seeing everyone and I am hoping that this just makes it normal for him. It is a little different for us in that we don't see his bio mom much at all. She lives 2000 miles away. I do send her pictures and talk on the phone occasionally and he sometimes gets on and says hi too.
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