Update and question

I am so excited that you got the baby and that you are nursing! Isn't it a wonderful experience? What kind of trouble are you having with the Lact-Aid, like filling, positioning the tube,etc? It is one of those things that is tricky at first but, if you hang in there, you will get it and then wonder why you had such a hard time with it. I remember having a hard time getting the tube positioned so that it would flow when the baby sucked, at first but, after a while, I could easily do it without looking. If you can manage the SNS,you can manage the Lact-Aid. I usually kept one filled and ready to go, in the fridge, sitting upright in plastic cup, with the neck cord all ready attached. Then, all I had to do was take it out and fill the cup with hot water to take the chill off of it, dry it and flip the cord over my head. When you are first getting used to it, it sometimes helps to tape the tube but, after that, just the frame of a nursing bra is sufficient and it only takes a second to flip it over to the other side. For filling, while I was using the frame to hold it onto a glass, I found it easier to put the ring on the top of the bag before I put the funnel in to fill it. Later, it was faster not to use the frame and just hold the bag in my hand, but it was a while before I could do that. I had a trick for telling whether the baby was getting supplement from the bag. I pressed most of the air out of it, but would leave a tiny bit. Then, if I couldn't tell, I would tip the bag so that a bubble would be at the end of the extension tube. If it was flowing, the bubble would go up the tube. Of course, you can tell by the bag flattening as the baby nurses, but if you don't want to wait for it to flatten, the bubble test works. Of course, listening for swallowing helps, too. To keep the baby from grabbing the tube, it helps to swaddle the baby in a receiving blanket, with his arms down. They don't usually object to that, when they are tiny. When they got older, what I would do was flip the hem of my shirt under it, so they couldn't see it or get ahold of it as easily, and I also lifted the shirt up just enough so that the baby could latch on. I also tried to hold their little hands while they were nursing, if they were trying to grab the tube or the bag or bottle. Are you wearing a nursing bra with a frame all the way around the breast, that the flap is attached to? That kind helps, both to hold the tube in place, and to limit the amount of it that the baby can get a hold of. I am posting a picture of an example. On some nursing bras, taking down the flap exposes the whole top of the breast. You are right to have the tube positioned on the top of the breast. It doesn't have to be on one particular spot, but somewhere on top, unless you are trying to use a nursing position where you lie down with the baby's feet at your head. I modeled that position for Debra Peterson's book "Breastfeeding the Adopted Baby". It is sometimes used when there is severe nipple damage and that reduces the stress on the damaged area, but I never used it, in 10 years of nursing my kids. I hope your mom is supportive. I have always felt that a big part of my much greater success with my third child, over my first two, was due to the fact that we were in Germany with my third. Not to sound mean, but I was very uncomfortable nursing in front of her and she was there very early on with my first two . She didn't get there to see my third son until he was four months old. By then, we'd been nursing for three and half months and had things down to a science. The first time she saw me nursing, she didn't even realize that he wasn't just sleeping. I wouldn't expect you to see a difference in the fullness of your breasts, before and after feedings, yet. Adoptive moms' milk starts out with drops and then builds, gradually. I would bet that, this early, he isn't getting more than a half tablespoon per breast, per feeding. That would add up to at least four ounces a day, which is impressive for the short time you've been nursing. Moms who have recently given birth are producing a lot more, and also tend to have some swelling, so sometimes their breasts get real hard between feeds, but that isn't likely to happen with adoptive moms. The most mine got from me was about three or four ounces per feeding, after we'd been doing it for three months or so. I felt a little fuller before than after, but not like what your mother describes. Maybe you could explain to your mother that it only takes a few ounces a day to pass on your antibodies to your baby. I know a lot of people have a hard time understanding why we would want to do it, if we don't have lots of milk. I will share a story that I think really illustrates it well, and maybe you could pass it on. When I got my second baby, Allan, in 1986, I had the experience of nursing his older brother but only for about three months and, for various reasons, it was part time. I was hoping to build on that, with Allan. Unfortunately, when we got him, at four weeks old, his suck was very weak. At the time, I had no idea that anything could be done to change it. It felt very different from nursing my first son. Allan wanted to nurse, but it felt more like licking than sucking. Also, he only got a tiny bit out of the Lact-Aid, and that was mostly because I would put some pressure on the bag. The SNS was just coming out then but I hadn't heard about it yet, or I would have tried it, too. I don't think it would have improved his suck, but I could have at least used the large tubes and gotten more down him that way. The only pump I had, or had seen, was one made of two cylinders, which was totally useless for stimulating milk production. Since Allan couldn't suck, I couldn't produce milk for him, which he desperately needed. He screamed constantly, more than I ever would have imagined was possible. He wasn't gaining weight well, and had ear infections that would not go away, in spite of the antibiotics, which I felt were ravaging his little digestive tract. Our doctor had told me it would be dangerous to get donated breast milk, but I had tried following his advice and it wasn't working. At that time, La Leache League was staying away from anything to do with milk donation because of the AIDS crisis, so I just started telling everyone I knew that I was looking for donated breast milk. One day, I was at the pool and was telling a friend, there about it. She had a friend with her who told me she would be happy to donate some milk for Allan. She was one of the few ladies, at that time, who was working full-time and breastfeeding. She would even go on trips without her baby. There weren't any decent portable breast pumps, at that time, but she had an easy time hand expressing and was able to leave plenty of milk in the freezer for her baby. She started giving us from 4-6 ounces of milk a day. At the same time, I stopped giving Allan the antibiotics. I kept him on the same formula he'd been getting. He started screaming less and eating better and, two weeks later, his ears were clear for the first time in three months! He fussed less and less, caught up on his development and weight gain and his ears stayed clear. I have no doubt that it was those few ounces of breast milk a day that made the difference. Allan went from a miserable, thin, baby to a happy little, chubby, angel! That really helped motivate me, with my third son, because, where I had previously thought that a baby would have to have mostly breast milk to benefit, I knew that, even if I could only produce a few ounces a day, it would be well worth the effort. Of course, the experience was worth it all, alone! Anyway, enjoy your baby and I hope I have said something helpful. I will try to remember to check this board every day, or you can email me directly. I don't hear that well over the phone, any more, so I prefer email. Aloha, Darillyn noelani54@hotmail.com

Just noticed that the picture didn't post, so I am trying again! Some bras have a little wider frame, which is even better.

Thanks for your great feedback! Yes, I love nursing. It is our own special time together and is terrific. My mom is very supportive of me trying to induce lactation, she is just convinced that my breasts are supposed to get huge and hard in between feedings if it is working. But it makes sense that even if I am producing just a little, the difference might not be noticeable but is still there. The problem I am having with the Lact-aid is getting any formula to come out. I can get it filled and set up correctly, but nothing seems to come out with his sucking. Now that we are home and settled in, I'm going to try to make it work. I definitely like the idea of allowing bubbles to come through. That is one sign I am using with the Medela to know if he is getting the formula. And I need to find one of those nursing bras. i can only find the kind with a strap only one one side, but the tape is already a pain and I like the idea of slipping the tube under that outer flap. thanks!

The only time my breasts were large and hard was when i didnt nurse my Bio son for a few hours like at night and id wake up in the morning and have to nurse him right away. Other than that even when i had a full supply for him there was not a huge amount of difference from pre-feeding to post-feeding. Dont let it discourage you. Your LO is getting some milk from you and dont get too obsessed with "how much" he actually gets. I did that.... it just makes you crazy. You are doing a great job and keep up the good work!!! I had tops about 6 oz when inducing lactation with my adopted son and there was only once or twice when i remember that i felt a little "full" that was it. So im sure you are making something!!!

How are you doing now? Have you made any more progress with the Lact-Aid? I assume you test them to make sure supplement with flow through the tube, before use, so it must be either something wrong with the way it is positioned, or it may just be that it makes you nervous because you just can't tell for sure if it is flowing. I found that sometimes if I didn't get the tube into the baby's mouth quite far enough, my breast tissue might actually cover the opening (if that makes sense). Since breast tissue gets pulled farther in when the baby latches, especially if you have a baby who has a good, deep suck, it is helpful to have the tube positioned so that it extends slightly beyond the nipple. Don't be afraid to experiment, though. Everyone's anatomy is a little different, both moms' breasts and babies' mouths. Have you tried nursing in the football hold? I always found that useful, when my babies were tiny and just getting the hang of it. I could control the baby's head better and could see both sides of his/her mouth. The pictures I see of that position usually look like the baby is lying down more than mine would when I used it, though. I tried to have the baby sitting up as much as possible, in front of the breast. I took some pictures when my kids were nursing, but I wish I had taken some better ones. As I said, I modeled for Debra Peterson's book. However, I was a little bit shy, since there was a man I didn't know there, who was photographing, so I didn't want to expose any more than a had to, but it might have been more helpful if I had. You said that tape was getting to be a pain. One thing that can help is using pink hairsetting tape. It is meant to be able to pull out of hair without pulling the hair out, so it is a lot more gentle. I just tried to post a candid shot of me nursing my fifth baby, but it says my picture is slightly too large. I will see if I can figure out how to shrink it! Oh, also, I am thrilled that your mom is supportive! I forget how old I am getting. Back during the fifties, when I was born, very few mothers were breastfeeding and they were almost all told that they didn't have enough milk, for one or more reasons. That translated to very little support for their daughters breastfeeding their own children, for various reasons. Even though my MIL was a rare one who had nursed her kids, she had lots of beliefs that were totally inaccurate, like that it was perfectly normal to have sore and damaged nipples for the first few months! That was one thing that limited me with my first son. If only I'd had someone to tell me to hold him facing directly into my breast and get him on farther, I might have nursed him until he self-weaned, too! When I told her, when I was nursing my third son, that I had learned to position him correctly, she said, "Oh, I didn't think it mattered, just as long as your nipple was in the baby's mouth." Well, I can go on all day about this topic! I hope you are having a great time with your little man! Darillyn

Scarlet, how are you doing? I've been thinking about you! I know you don't have much time to type, but would love to hear a few words about you and the baby are.