I think I made a mistake.

I am so sorry that you are hurting! What you have done is probably one of the hardest things a human being will ever have to do! I think that you have a certain amount of time after the baby is born to change your mind. Before you do, you should reexamine what led you to make the adoption plan, if anything has changed and you can make it work, definitely find out what you need to do to change your mind. If nothing has changed and adoption is still best for the baby, do whatever and anything you can to care for you. It is so hard, and I truly do understand. I am five months into the process, and I wanted to change my mind so many times, but I know in my heart that I did the best thing that I could do for my little guy. The first few days home alone I cried, I cried and I cried some more. It gets a little easier, I don't think about him every minute of everyday any more, but he is never far from my mind. I am soo sorry that you are having to go through this! Good luck!!

First of all, I promise, it gets easier. I think that we all have gone through a massive range of emotions after having given up our children, and it stings the most the first few months afterwards. It'll start to get better, and then it'll probably hit you again like a ton of bricks on her birthday. I won't lie to you, birthdays are hard. Almost 14 years later, I still cry every birthday. But if you know that you did the right thing, that you can't provide the life that your child deserves, remind yourself of that... remind yourself that your strength, resolve and selflessness has made the lives of three other people complete.

I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know what state you are in. Do you know if you have a timeframe where you can change your mind and rescind your TPR? In some states the TPR is irrevocable as soon as you sign it but in some states your have 30 days to change your mind. Did anyone counsel you on whether you would qualify for food stamps, medicaid, WIC, or any other assistance to help you keep your baby? Did anyone counsel you about the devestating loss you and your baby suffer through adoption? I know that the adoptive parents will be upset if you change your mind. They will grieve their loss and they will move on to adopt another baby. However, if this adoption goes through then you will grieve for the rest of your life. I placed my first son for adoption 20 years ago. We are reunited and I still grieve for him. After I had him I found out that I could not have any more children. I am also an adoptive mom. I went through a failed adoption before I found the baby that I ended up adopting. I've dealt with grief from both ends of the spectrum. Even though I know first hand how bad a failed adoption is on an adoptive mom, I would never wish losing a child to adoption on any body else. If you want your baby and there is any way on God's green earth that you might get to keep your baby, please get your baby back. (((hugs)))

I gave birth to my daughter 9/6/92--and have felt the way you are so many times over the last 19 years--almost 20. I know I did what was best for her at that time in my life...but I have so many regrets around my decision to place. My advice to you is do some soul searching...make sure what you are feeling is not just the normal grieving process. If you decide that you truly can not live with your decision..contact a lawyer that deals with family law...a lot will do free consults over the phone. At least then you will know what options you have. And while the adoptive family will be hurt, you need to think about what's best for YOU AND YOUR child. I hope this helps. Never doubt what you did for your daughter was a selfless act...and only someone who has been through it could ever understand.

I feel the same way and for me it's been one year later. What keeps me going is that I get pictures emails and visits form my daughters adoptive parents. Do you get pictures?? (((((hugs))))))))

I am a birthmother - I haven't gotten over it. I suggest you try to reverse the adoption.

Given the original post is now over five months old, I doubt that reversing the adoption (even if she wanted to) would be an option at this point anyway. If the original poster is even still around, the relinquishment is almost certainly a done deal by now, and offering coping strategies would probably be more helpful.