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:mad: He moved out and apparently is never looking back. Six weeks left here til he moved to his best friend's house. He leaves for boot camp July 17th but I am sure he will not speak to us before then and I am tired of trying. If he can walk out that door and not look back how much of a son was he?
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sassafras
Thanks. He is a stubborn, prideful young man so I doubt we hear from him for a very long time. He will just slip into the Marines and disappear.
The Marines will not let him do that. They have manditory writting times for letters home in boot camp. He will grow up and hopefully realize what he pushed away from. Reality will hit in bootcamp and afterwards when he is deployed or first holiday from home. Stay strong and he will come back in time.
Semper Fi (always faithful)
If I had a dollar for every one of my friends who left home ASAP and was "never going back"....but who has gone back and reconstructed a relationship with their parents, I would have a lot of dollars.
Adolescence is hard for a lot of kids. For some it is excrutiating. It is painful to learn time after time that the world really doesn't revolve around you. For kids who have been hurt emotionally, it may be painful to acknowledge how much you need other people. Your son may not be able to face this about himself. Yet.
Stay positive and bide your time. He may just need the space to come to some realizations.
well he texted me last night saying he most likely wasn't going to prom. I thought okay he is reaching out so I said why. Then he said don't worry about it and it went downhill from there.
I ended it saying i was going to bed. I wasn't going to talk anymore tonight since it was going downhill and even though he no longer considers us his parents we still consider him our son and I loved him.
Just sucks this efffects his sisters too.
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Well we went to prom march. he ws there with a girl we didn't know. Walked right by. refused to stop to take a pic. I sent his sister over with my cell phone to take her once and I guess he asked her if it was for the demonic one. She said no so he would let her take it.
Then we were getting ready to leave. I just could not do it. I had to say something. I walked up to him hugged him, he would not hug me back. I said you look very nice I love you and left.
I got a text when I got home that said: YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH ME. THANKS FOR RUINING MY PROM!
Nice huh?
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I am really sorry. I want to remind you that his behavior is not your fault or responsibility. He is making really bad choices right now (being a gigantic jerk) and doing whatever he can to make the person he feels closest to (you, his mom) feel as bad as he does. Our sons therapist kept reminding me that we get dumped on because we are the safest person in their lives. They can push us away but deep down know we will still love them. I would remind your son that being adopted is not a pass to be a twit, or emotionally and verbally abusive. You love him, you will always love him - but he needs to man up to his own actions and behavior. You will always be there for him when he is ready to treat you with respect. Being an abusive son is no better than being an abusive spouse. And then don't reply. Let those words sink in. And remind yourself that you do not own his behavior.
Wow. I can literally feel your pain. I've been in your shoes. It feels like crap. The best advice I got from my counselor was to "emotionally distance" myself. Let them know you are available but don't open yourself up for being hurt. It's really hard to do as a mom but it has kept me sane. It's something I have to remember every conversation we have. I also stopped allowing conversations by texting. It's a lot easier for them to be mean in a text. If she wants to talk to me, she can call. My thoughts are with you. Remember to protect your heart......
I'm so sorry, I know that it hurts so much to have him push away. I absolutely hate Father's Day now, because that's the day our daughter chose to rip away from us and not look back for a while.
The hurt lessens with time, and I agree with the other posts that he will grow up a bit and realize he is lucky to have a family that loves him. Our daughter has come back and gotten closer, but still keeps us at a distance. She now knows we love her, but is still trying to figure out what that means.
Stay strong, you'll get through this, and I believe you'll eventually be able to see how you've helped him.
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I have heard this same story over and over from adoptive parents that adopted children over 2 years of age from foster care. My children's old counselor was an adoptive mother to 7 and 5 of her children did the same thing. My next door neighbors adopted 2 siblings aged 2 and 4 and they did the same thing. Nicest people you ever met, my teenagers adore them and go see them daily. Their biological son calls and visits constantly. Their adopted children have had nothing to do with them for 25 years. I know at least 10 other adoptive families with the same stories. I know that doesn't fix anything but sometimes it just helps to know that you aren't alone and it wasn't just "you". We can only do so much and you or they can't change what happened to them before you came into their lives.