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I am over thirty and my mother and first father were never married. My first father did not want the responsibilities of being a parent and wanted my mother to have an abortion, but my mother decided against that and decided she would raise me herself. She remarried and I was adopted by my step father. My mother was never supportive of my contacting my first father and it was only recently that I obtained his full name from her to contact him. While looking for his contact information, I discovered he was a pastor. I contacted him via email and got a response from a person he knew who stated that he could not speak with me yet. Time went by. So, I decided to contact him again via email. I got a response in which he stated he didn't want his privacy invaded nor was he giving me anything but medical information. I am angered, hurt and stunned. I didn't expect a response like this. Especially being aware of the image he promotes. I feel he is fearful of being "outed" for having a daughter he didn't raise. If he isn't interested, then so be it, but I do want contact with my siblings. How should I handle my father? How long should I wait to contact my siblings? Any other input?
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I am over thirty and my mother and first father were never married. My first father did not want the responsibilities of being a parent and wanted my mother to have an abortion, but my mother decided against that and decided she would raise me herself. She remarried and I was adopted by my step father. My mother was never supportive of my contacting my first father and it was only recently that I obtained his full name from her to contact him. While looking for his contact information, I discovered he was a pastor. I contacted him via email and got a response from a person he knew who stated that he could not speak with me yet. Time went by. So, I decided to contact him again via email. I got a response in which he stated he didn't want his privacy invaded nor was he giving me anything but medical information. I am angered, hurt and stunned. I didn't expect a response like this. Especially being aware of the image he promotes. I feel he is fearful of being "outed" for having a daughter he didn't raise. If he isn't interested, then so be it, but I do want contact with my siblings. How should I handle my father? How long should I wait to contact my siblings? Any other input?
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