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RavenSong
I've had that statement put exactly in those words more times than I can count over the past 40 years.
So, were these people right to say it about you? If not, isn't it also in the realm of possibility that these folks don't deserve that kind of statement any more than you did?
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ladyjubilee
So, were these people right to say it about you? If not, isn't it also in the realm of possibility that these folks don't deserve that kind of statement any more than you did?
Why? The truth is that I didn't raise my own son. The truth is that my parents didn't help in any way to help me keep their own grandchild in the family. Is it the word "own child" or "own grandchild" that gets to you? Regardless of whether my child was relinquished and adopted or not, he was our "own" at one point in time.
No, I don't give these grandparents-to-be a free pass, not when they're interjecting their own opinions about their daughter's character and integrity into the match. If they can't say anything nice about their daughter, they shouldn't say anything at all.
ETA: And with this post, I'm off this particular thread. It's getting too side-tracked, and for that I apologize to the OP.
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To the Original poster - my apologies...
LadyJubilee - I wish you had not asked Raven that - she's been here for years and has been open and honest about her story. Mothers from that era were darned if they did and darned if they didn't and the third option was a brick wall and any "choice" they made was wrong, and they have been paying for it since, and will still be paying for it until the day they die.
(and I would have used a different term than darned)
Dickons
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Momma-Emme
We were matched with a wonderful bmom a few months ago and she has been great. She has been buying gifts for us and our older children and she generally seems like a really caring, stable young woman.
She has an older child who lives with her parents. I met the bmom's parents for the first time last week and had a slightly strange conversation. They basically said that I should be very careful because she can be quite manipulative. They said that their daughter regularly comes and tries to take the child back, saying she is going to parent. They said that they think an open adoption won't work and are trying to put more distance between them and her.
Bmom is very close to the end of the pregnancy and I am starting to feel concerned. We were hoping for an open adoption where she would become a part of the family. If she acts the same with us as with her parents then an open adoption would be very difficult.
But I don't really know if I can trust her parents or possibly she just acts differently with them because they are family etc. she has been nothing but kind towards us.
I a freaking out a bit right now, I really thought this was going to be a good match and starting to feel like I don't know bmom at all :(
Any advice welcome x
Did the parents adopt her child?If not maybe she was trying to get her child back.Also maybe she didn't understand an adoption,before now.Also some people bring the worst in people.I wouldn't worry about it.U may be better to talk to,then her parents.Um if u decide u don't want an open adoption with her,then u need to tell her,so she can decline.U should also be warned why.
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