Need Advice - Impulsive Contact

I am married to a 47 year old man who was adopted when he was about a week old. He was raised in an affluent household and grew to be a very well-educated, wonderful, kind, loving human being. He has never had any interest in contacting his birth family and, in fact, is adamantly opposed to learning any more about his origins. Although both of his parents were supportive of his reaching out (his mother died many years ago), he feels it would somehow be a breach of his moral code to do so -- and that it would put his personal sense of self/identity at risk. I learned his feelings about this a few years ago when I found evidence online that his birth mother might be searching for him.I need to add here that I have my own personal history that makes my heart hurt terribly for what his birth mother may have gone through in giving up her son, and in missing him all these years. I also see how much my husband misses his mother - he does not have an intimate relationship with his father.Last weekend he suddenly opened up a conversation with me that led me to believe his feelings about this might have started to change. I went back online and found another online search that I believe almost certainly refers to my husband - everything from the unique family situation the birth mother knew her son was going to, to the birth date, the hospital and name of the private adoption attorney who handled the adoption were listed, as was a contact email address. My husband absorbed the post I found online with great interest. I asked my husband if he wanted me to send a note to the email address and he said he wanted to think about it. What he really meant, evidently, was that he did not want me to send an email and did not want to talk about it further.Impulsively, I sent a short note anyway. I stated that I might know the person they were looking for, but that he might not be open to meeting his biological family. I told her that any info she wanted to provide would be helpful.The person wrote back a short note to say she had been searching for her son for years, and that she has no idea if he has been searching for her. She said it would be a blessing if she found him. Other than my work information (included in the signature of my email - how stupid!!!), no personal information has been exchanged.My husband was upset when I told him I'd contacted this person, and is reeling from my email and the person's response. We talked about it at length, mostly so that he could emphasize that he does not want me to interfere. He's losing sleep, and he will not talk to me about it further. I've apologized repeatedly, and I know I really broke his trust when I impulsively sent that email off. It was a thoughtless thing for me to do for many reasons.I know the "right" thing to do here, from my husband's perspective, is absolutely nothing. It simply isn't my right to do so (we have no children - unfortunately, can't have children of our own - so that's no excuse).I feel so terrible that I might have created an awful emotional situation for his birth mother. I can't seem to stop thinking about how I might contact her just to reassure her that her son (if he is her son) grew up happy and healthy and wonderful -- and yet, if I were her, that certainly wouldn't be enough for me.:( And while I respect that have to abide by my husband's feelings about all this -- I have to say that they seem like unhealthy feelings, to me. What moral code squeezes love and family out of your life in deference to someone who's passed away - and who would have encouraged you to do the exact opposite? Why he is so afraid of his identity being damaged if he contacted his biological mother?:confused: I don't need advice on what to do next -- I know I have to do absolutely nothing. But I really need some insight in to what my husband might be feeling right now. I have too little empathy for my husband and too much curiosity/empathy for some imaginary birth mother's terrible loss. I need some help to better understand what my husband might be going thru so I can better support him as we move forward.Any advice is greatly appreciated.Thank you,AnonymousWife