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My husband and I have adopted his niece who is now 6. Our now daughter was removed from her birth mother after about 1 year and was placed with her grandparents until the age of 5. This is obviously an open adoption since the Bmother has had contact with our daughter off and on the the past 6 years.
Her Bmother is also a drug addict (going on 12 years now). Since our daughter has been living with us full-time we have limited the visitations with her Bmother to a few hours every few weeks and we would like to limit these visits even more (gradually, of course). The Bmother is also not the most reliable person and often misses visits.
The Bmother has checked into a one-year rehab program again. Our daughter is aware that her Bmother has addiction problems. Should we take our daughter to visit her birthmother in rehab or cease visitation until she is out. I'm not quite sure which would be more detrimental. It is also very sensitive since the birthmother is a relative...
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
I would suggest that you speak with a child psychologist who specializes in adoption-related issues. I'm sure they could help you navigate this tricky situation and help make decisions about what is best for your daughter.
Good luck!
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Generally in rehab programs, visitors need to be approved, so there would need to be a conversation between you, bmom, and her counselor. Even if this isn't required, I think it would be a good idea. you can find out some of the information others have suggested, like what the environment is like, as well as learning how she is doing with the program and discussing what a visit would look like. If your daughter has a counselor I would also suggest talking with that person. Most long-term rehab programs require the person to be detoxed before starting the program, and the ones I have known tend to be very structured, so I wouldn't have the same concerns taking a child there that I would in some other environments; in fact, because of the structure and staffing, it could be a safer option than a visit in the community, depending on the facility.