Struggling with Preschool Decision - Can we take a poll?

Atleast there's one black child,in the school.I would keep him there.Maybe there will be more,when he goes to elementry.Also people that live in bad areas,try to save money,to get out.

I'm with WorldTraveler. Are there other ways you can expose him to people of color? C is in a daycare where he is the only child of color. It's a home-based one, with only 8 other kids total, so there's less opportunity for diversity. There were a couple of places in town that would have been more diverse, but I was less impressed with the daycare itself. I have worked to find other ways/ places to have AA kids and adults in his life, and I will keep trying to build that. For me, though, the care and learning he receives are paramount in a daycare, and the stability of staying in the same place (with caregivers he knows, kids he is comfortable with, etc) is also extremely important, and I would not want to switch my son from somewhere he is already established and comfortable if there were another option.

I think safety is more important for a preschooler than diversity. It sounds like that blacker school you found really isn't particularly safe. Personally, I would stick with where you are for now until your kiddo has more of an ability to tell you what's going on socially at school. The other thing I would reccomend is that if you can't find a diverse school that meets your needs (you might try one associated with a church or a magnet school in a more diverse area of town), look for a school with diverse teachers. Having a black teacher or principal provides access to role models and sets the tone that its normal to see blacks in positions of authority. I have also found from personal experience that this alone makes the learning experience considerably more diverse than simply having a large black population of students.

If you and your child love the preschool he's in, then I would leave him there. I would make sure that whatever school he goes to next is diverse. I would also try to find other opportunities to meet and socialize with other people of color. I'm lucky in that I live in a very diverse area. However, I know how hard it is to find a preschool/child care situation that fits. I went to 14 different preschools and day care centers before we found the Montessori preschool my son attended. Was it the most diverse setting? No. It was about half white, half children of color. Was it the best setting for my son? Without a doubt. If you haven't already, make sure you have books about different colors of skin, and make sure that your son knows his skin is beautiful. Good luck! :hippie:

We had a similar situation with S. She had a home sitter (close family friend, like a grandma) until she was almost 2. She was the only kiddo, when we put her into daycare her classroom wasn't diverse, but the staff was very diverse with many races/ethnicities. When she moved up a class she then had other AA children with her and her teacher was AA. Unfortunately it just wasn't a good fit for many reasons after about 18m. I searched many schools and settled on a school that was less diverse in staff, but still very diverse in students. S has thrived! They had more to offer at the new school academically, lower ratios, better meals, just overall calmer atmosphere. I can't imagine her being anywhere else. If you love the school and so does your child, go with your gut and stay. Like others suggested maybe you can find playgroups that are diverse! :)

Diversity is important. With that said, I would never sacrifice safety and/or accept sub-standard care in order to achieve it.I would keep my child put until something equal or better came along.

Thank you all so much for the replies! I think sometimes I read too much about TRA and get into a mindset of exposing him to as many AA/black people as I can no matter what. We went to a new park this weekend where J played around mostly black children, and I will try Meetup.com - I've never looked there before. Please excuse me for not posting a greeting to the group. I went straight to the question for those who like to hover, and then I forgot about the greeting by the time I finished typing so much! Anyway, I'm glad to be here and I appreciate all of your support! Kelli

Our daughter is starting Montessori next week. Like you we were extremely concerned about school diversity. Though our Montessori is slightly more diverse than yours with respect to African American kids, it is diverse in other ways (Latino, South Asian, Asian etc.) Also the school is very committed to exposure to different cultures. The focus of the entire summer is China and the kids will be learning Chinese language, dance, arts and other cultural features. The program also features a Spanish immersion classroom for older toddlers. Ultimately, these factors were more important than the number of black kids in the classroom. Luckily, we have a diverse group of friends, transracial adoptee group and black family members to help provide cultural context for our kids! I love Montessori and vote for staying!

I am so glad you asked this question! I am the white adoptive mother of 3 African American daughters. My oldest is 10. For the last 9 years, I have driven 30 minutes in each direction to take my girls to an all black Christian pre-school in East Austin in order to surround them with people who look like they do. It is, I believe, the single greatest parenting decision I have made to date. We live in a diverse neighborhood in a predominantly white suburb of Austin, TX. Since children begin to recognize race and differences around age 3, it was of paramount importance to me to surround the girls with people who look like they do at the point in life when they would recognize the difference in our skin tone. In addition, I needed the companionship, resources, and support of the parents of other children in the school. Some of my best mom friends have come from Mt. Sinai Christian Academy. I have learned how to comb hair, I have found my place in the black community, and created a bridge to my children's cultural community. It takes a commitment. Every time gas prices go up, the obvious thing to do is to stop making this trip to pre-school. But I won't. It is my commitment to my children. So now, my youngest daughter will enter the neighborhood public school in August as she graduates from Mt. Sinai. I predict I will save $200 in gas per month and even more in child care expenses. I guarantee I will cry my eyes out when we leave. This school has been a safe haven for me and my family for 9 years. 9 years! I can hardly believe it.I know it is easy and comfortable to stay where you are, but I encourage you to do what will be more comfortable for your child in the long run. It is a foundation of racial identity that you cannot replace. Take a chance and go to the black school. I pray your experiences will be half as rich as mine.Best Wishes,Amy

Amy, I'm glad to get the opportunity to tell you how much I enjoyed your book! And thank you for the encouragement. Kelli

I personally would keep my child in the school with the better safety records. My son is biracial AA/CC and he is currently in a room with five other babies who are all CC. However, his teachers are Indian and AA. When he moves up to the next class, he'll have more diversity in the class. He is only there three days a week and he was the first baby at the daycare. Diversity was important to me when I looked at the school and I saw a lot of teachers and children of other races there. Then as more babies joined the his class, they were all CC. I wasn't about to pull him out of his school because of that though.

Let me clarify my earlier statement about the Christian pre-school. I would NEVER put my children in a substandard setting academically. Mt. Sinai has an incredible program. My children entered public school reading books and writing their first and last names. I guess my point is having a strong academic component is not exclusive of a strong ethnic environment. It is possible to be non-white and smart after all. Look for both components - academic as well as the black component. Seriously, it is giving your child a HUGE head start. I just left my oldest daughter at Girl Scout (sleep away) camp for the first time yesterday. Out of 60 girls from Central Texas, she was 1 of 2 black girls. She can hold her own and that comes from her comfort level in the presence of people who look like she does. I couldn't have provided that ability without the benefit of community resources. Also, if going into black neighborhoods or into black schools is unsettling to you, maybe transracially adopting isn't the best move. If you are uncomfortable yet willing to do whatever is in the best interest of your child, you're gonna be great!And thank you for the shout out to my book. It was a labor of love and I am blessed to have a story to share. Best Wishes!!Amy